Bowl Movement Cricket Club

Saturday 11th July 2009

2009-07-12T07:59:00.001+01:00

On a very hot day in London, the Australian team dashed over from the rain in Wales, won the toss and elected to bat - forcing us to face up to several hours in the field in the hottest part of the day.

They played steadily, albeit not spectacularly, until (in the 11th over) Phil made a breakthrough: 27-1.

This brought Ponting in, and an increase in the run-rate - by the end of the 15th over (the halfway stage) they had reached 53-1, and I anticipated being set a target of between 120 and 150.

Fortunately, not long after this Christopher managed to do what had taken the whole England team considerably longer earlier this week, as Mincat held onto a hard shot from Ponting, off his bowling: 60-2.

A brilliant one-handed catch by Mincat, again off Christopher's bowling disposed of the next wicket: 67-3.Christopher got his third wicket, when Ivy held a catch: 68-4.

Carol took a diving catch off my bowling: 76-5.

Rob got the next wicket - a third catch by Mincat: 88-6.

I held the next catch, also off Rob's bowling: 90-7.

In the next over a hat-trick from me finished their innings: 90-10.I feel the BMCC should offer to take over from the current England crowd for the next Test. At least we can bowl Australia out.

The Aussies didn't quite know what to make of the high tea that Z had prepared.

We only needed to score three an over, so I asked for steady, careful batting. As you can imagine, that's exactly not what I got:

Ad was bowled when we had only reached 5-1.

Christopher chipped a catch to third slip: 8-2.

Richard did exactly the same: 15-3.

ILTV was bowled: 26-4.

The rot stopped there, as player-of-the-match Mincat went on to score an unbeaten 52, leaving us on 91-4.We still head the league of course.Next week would have been away in the West Indies, but we have been awarded the trophy as league winners already, so shall instead be playing a Test Match against Australia.

Saturday 4th July 2009

2009-07-10T19:01:00.002+01:00

I arrived in Bedfordshire last night, by way of India, where we were playing against a team still smarting from their defeat by England in the Twenty20 competition, and looking for revenge.

They won the toss, and elected to bat - which looked like the wrong decision when Rob knocked out the middle stump in his first over: 0-1.

That gave us a false sense of optimism however, as their batsmen dug in and scored steadily at a rate of over 4 an over - particularly Tandelki, who reached his 50 in the 15th over - and that just encouraged them to hit out even more, their 100 coming up in the 20th over (during which Tandelki was dropped twice - the kind of sloppiness in the field I thought we had eliminated. Harsh words were thought).

At last a wicket fell, when (leading by example) I held on to a catch from Phil's bowling: 108-2.

They continued to score well, until Tandelki finally fell, a sharp catch off Rob's bowling being held by Mincat: 121-3.

This brought about a collapse - Rob taking his third wicket when I held another catch: 129-5.

Rob returned the compliment the next over, holding a catch off my bowling: 130-6.

I bowled the next man: 130-7.

Rob got Druvad to nick the ball to Richard: 130-8.

He then got a clean bowled, for his five-fer: 131-9.

A classy yorker was dug out, but only for the ball to reach a diving Richard 131-10.It had looked at the halfway stage that they would be setting us a target nearer 200, so we did well to restrict them to 131, but even so, this could be a challenging target.

Our new opening bat, Ad, set off well, with some bright strokes, before being caught and bowled in the second over: 18-1.

The Indians were playing very aggressively, and it was no surprise when another wicket fell, ILTV being bowled: 27-2.

Batting at number 4 seemed to suit Christopher better than opening, as he and I pushed the score on well (indeed he ended up our second highest scorer) before he was caught: 62-3.

Richard too was caught, going for a flashy drive: 66-4.

Unbelievably, Mincat tried the same shot off the next ball, with an identical result: 66-5.

Half our wickets gone, and halfway to the target - but our main batsmen out.

Carol was caught out soon after, and we were in deep trouble, on 72-6.

Another sharp catch saw Ivy out: 80-7.

I was still in, but just had the three bowlers left to support me. Could we score 52 between us?

I was dropped twice on caught and bowled chances, but sadly Rob wasn't: 83-8.

At least my half century came up.I tried to keep the strike, but inevitably Phil ended up facing a fast ball, and was bowled; 102-9.

Thirty runs needed, and just Vicus and I to score them. They had pushed the fielders out deep - offering me singles, which would give them the chance to bowl at Vicus. I suspect this tactic would have worked eventually, but for some unaccountable reason their captain changed his strategy, and brought the fielders in close around my bat - which meant, as long as I didn't give a catching chance, I could score boundaries. I grabbed my chance, and struck four after four, until, eventually, we reached 133-9 and won!We are, naturally, still top of the table. Next week we play Australia, at Lords.

Saturday June 27th 2009

2009-07-10T18:02:00.002+01:00

We played this match in Southampton, so that Phil and Vicus didn't have quite so far to travel.

I won the toss, and elected to bat.

Sadly, Christopher was caught and bowled in the first over. I promoted him to opener this season as a reward for kindnesses shown, but that might not have been such a favour, as it has rather affected his form. I think next week we'll give Ad a try-out at the number one position: 2-1

The grass on the outfield was looking very lush - it was a real effort to drive the ball as far as the boundary, but Ad and I did our best, putting on fifty before he was caught and bowled: 52-2.

I too was C&B: 61-3.

Mincat was caught in the slips: 73-4.

Richard was caught by their keeper: 95-5.

ILTV was bowled: 95-6.

As was Rob: 111-7.

And Ivy: 112-8.

Phil was run out: 114-9.

Vicus was caught and bowled: 125-10.Our catering manager had decided to take the weekend off, and Phil had eaten the boiled fruit cake that Ziggo made last weekend, but as we were by the sea, fish and chips were on the menu, as well as a vegetarian option (chips and chips).

On our return to the field, Vicus got the first two wickets: 1-2.

Rob got the third: 3-3.

South Africa rallied slightly from that disastrous start, before Vicus achieved an edge to Carol in the slips: 29-4.

Phil bowled his man: 35-5.

Rob got an edge to Richard: 41-6.

I got a caught and bowled: 55-7, and a clean bowled: 55-8.

Vicus knocked a stump out: 60-9.

Phil finished the match off: 61-10.

Naturally we are still top of the league.

Saturday June 20th 2009

2009-07-01T18:36:00.000+01:00

My kidneys were causing me a lot of pain yesterday. I'd really rather not have been playing, but I couldn't find a substitute at short notice. I did agree to play, but said I'd be batting at number 11 (and hoping I wouldn't need to bat) and resting in the outfield, and not bowling.

Sri Lanka won the toss and elected to bat. Bowling turned out to be hard work on a flat and unresponsive wicket. We toiled in the sun to little effect, until, eventually (in the 11th over) Mincat held onto a catch off Phil's bowling: 26-1.

The next over Rob managed to get a nick to carry to Richard: 27-2.

This brought Joyewordine in, who immediately started attacking the bowling aggressively.

Eventually, Christopher got another edge to Richard: 63-3.

Ivy held a catch off Vicus: 70-4.

She then caught Joyewordine, off Christopher's bowling: 81-5.

Christopher next achieved an LBW: 81-6.

Vicus hit the off stump: 84-7.

Ad (who had been attacked quite ruthlessly by the batsmen) got his first wicket for the club, with a catch by Mincat: 96-8.

There were 5 overs still to be bowled, but our top bowlers only had a couple of overs left - so rather than see Ad being punished any further, I dragged myself to the crease, and bowled four gentle balls - taking their last two wickets: 97-10.
I went for a lie-down (and some strong drugs) so have no idea what tea was like.

We only needed just over three an over, so I emphasised that a nice, steady attack was all that was needed.

Ad was given out LBW: 1-1.

Mincat was bowled: 5-2.

Against my better judgement, and perhaps under the influence of the drugs, I was persuaded that I should go out to bat now, to try to steady the ship. Christopher and I managed to do that, until he was bowled: 42-3.

ILTV was caught and bowled: 46-4.

Richard was caught in the slips: 62-5.

Carol was caught and bowled: 67-6.

I was bowled: 82-7.

Could our tail get the 16 runs we needed?

Rob was bowled: 88-8.

That was the last wicket to fall, and we ended winners, on 98-8.We are, naturally, still top of the league.That marks the halfway stage in the season. Next week we play South Africa again.

Satruday 13th June 2009.

2009-06-14T12:29:00.001+01:00

Those who have been following this series closely will have noted that whenever we bat first we are always bowled out. In other words, we don't make full use of the 30 overs at our disposal. Before today's match a Mr Boycott dropped into the changing room to criticise our technique. He pointed out that we were wasting the opportunity to build up a really big score.

We promised him that we would concentrate on our defensive strokes, and refuse to give our wickets away easily. I won the toss, and decided we would bat first, to show Geoffrey what we could do, against a fairly aggressive Pakistan bowling attack.

Their very fast opening bowler hit Christopher twice, before getting the ball past him, and knocking his stumps over: 2-1.

In his next over he peppered Ad, before forcing an edge to 1st slip: 9-2.

ILTV edged to the keeper: 10-3.

Mr Boycott had started chewing his hat.

Mincat was next in, but she knows how to deal with a fast bowler, hitting a six and a four off the first over she faced - however he won the battle in the end, with another edge to the slips: 30-4.

Richard and I saw off the opening bowlers, but their second pair were just as crafty, and eventually Richard was bowled: 41-5.

I was given out LBW (Hawkeye shows that was a mistake): 65-6.

Fortunately their third string bowlers weren't quite as good, and Carol and Ivy were able to push on, until Ivy was out LBW: 91-7.

Rob was caught in the slips: 96-8.

Eventually they brought back their pacemen to finish off the tail, and Phil was bowled: 111-9.

Carol was finally winkled out, after a dogged 32: 131-10.
We had actually batted for 26·4 overs, which wasn't too bad (despite Mr Boycott's devastating criticism of our batting technique).

Tea was bread and cheese (Z's speciality).

Their first wicket fell with a caught-and-bowled to Vicus: 4-1.

Phil did the same: 8-2.

There were no further breakthroughs in the first 15 overs (after which teams usually start to attack) - but they were well behind the run-rate, on 27-2.

They did indeed start to attack, but eventually in the 22nd over I tempted Al Huq to hit a ball in the air, where Rob held onto it: 56-3.

Two overs later another of my balls flew to Ivy: 62-4.

In their penultimate over, Rob got their top batsman caught-and-bowled: 86-5.

Despite batting through their 30 overs, they finished on 94-5, and so we won.New Zealand lost another game, and so we're now clear on top of the league.Next week (the halfway stage in the league) we're away against Sri Lanka.

Saturday 6th June 2009

2009-06-07T07:33:00.000+01:00

Well, after England's defeat by the Netherlands on Friday, clearly any result is possible in cricket. New Zealand had cunningly played an extra game mid-week, to try to ensure they would stay above us, even if we beat them today - sadly for them they had lost that match, thus at one stroke both foiling their plan, and giving us hope that they were not invincible.

New Zealand won the toss, and decided to field. I decided to use the same batting line-up that had performed so well last week and I aimed to set them a target of 150 (ie setting the opposition a run-rate of 5 per over).

Our hearts were in our mouths when Christopher was bowled first ball: 0-1.

Ad was run out: 8-2.

So was Mincat - we were starting to realise what sharp fielders the Kiwis are: 20-3.

ILTV and I settled down, and saw us past the 50 mark, until she clipped one to the keeper: 52-4.

Richard was bowled: 66-5.

Our target of 150 looked rather unlikely now.

Carol too was bowled: 81-6.

Well, at least I reached my half-century before we were all out.
Ivy and I pushed the score past 100 before she was caught: 127-7.

I too was caught, by a diving first slip: 136-8.

We were relying on the bowlers to get us up to 150 - they had plenty of overs to play with, but did they have the ability?

Phil was caught by the keeper: 139-9.

Vicus was bowled - but not before he and Rob had taken us past our target: 154-10.
Tea involved various combinations of stuffed emu.

With a competitive target we knew their batting line-up would feel under pressure, which intensified when Vicus took a wicket in the first over: 0-1.

Rob took the next wicket: 6-2.

They scored odd singles, but were steadily dropping behind the run-rate - after 10 overs they'd achieved just 18-2, and at 15 overs (the halfway point) they had dried up completely, on 21-2.

Finally they started to try to hit out - but that just gave our fielders more chances, the first being a ball struck firmly off Vicus, straight into Mincat's hands: 24-3.

Next ball Vicus held a sharp caught-and-bowled: 24-4.

Rob took the next wicket: 26-5.

I had a go too: 28-6.

And in my next over I achieved a hat-trick: 32-9.

Rob finished them off: 33-10.As you will see, we now head the league table. Huzzah!Next week we are at home to Pakistan.

Satrurday May 30th 2009

2009-05-31T08:15:00.002+01:00

After last week's humiliation I was determined to show no favours today. Kenya have a fairly good bowling attack, but are probably a little weak in their batting line-up. I felt that putting our strongest batsmen in first, and building a good total, should completely demoralise them. Winning the toss was the start of my game-plan, which I duly did, and elected to bat first.

The sun was beating down from a clear blue sky at The Oval as Christopher and I made our way to the wicket.

We shared an opening stand of 69 before Christopher was run out: 69-1.

My 50 came and went, before Ad nicked a cut to the keeper: 93-2.

Mincat was run out: 103-3.

ILTV was bowled: 120-4.

Richard was caught in the slips: 133-5.

Carol was also caught: 151-6.

I was getting a little concerned that I was running out of partners, and was having to do a lot of work in very hot conditions (Christopher was the only other batsman to score in double figures) - still, eventually my century arrived.Ivy was then caught in the slips: 160-7.

Rob was adjudged LBW on his first ball: 160-8.

A tired shot saw me bowled: 160-9.

Our tail wagged a bit before Vicus was caught and bowled: 171-10.

I am afraid I failed to photograph the relevant page of the scorebook. It showed:

Christopher: 18
Dave: 101
Ad: 6
Mincat: 8
ILTV: 5
Richard: 7
Carol: 6
Ivy: 4
Rob: 0
Phil: 6 not out
Vicus: 5

As we tucked into our clotted cream tea we felt we had set a sufficiently daunting target.

This soon became obvious - Christopher took a wicket in the first over: 1-1.

I took one in the second over: 1-2.

Vicus got one in the next over: 5-3.

And Phil took two in his first over: 6-5.

I came back on and took 4 wickets, giving me a five-fer to add to my century: 6-9.

Rob knocked over the last wicket, with an edge to a diving Richard: 6-10.
We move back to second place in the league, with a vastly superior net run rate to everyone else. This will be important, for next week we play New Zealand, away. If we win, that run rate should put us top of the league table.

Saturday May 23rd

2009-05-31T08:15:00.001+01:00

I must admit that I rather expected today's game would not stretch us, and so I thought I'd shuffle the batting order, to allow our lower order players a chance to bat higher up - and I also thought I'd let everyone have a bowl. This may have been a mistake.

Bangladesh won the toss, and elected to bat.

Carol took the first wicket: 17-1.

ILTV made the next breakthrough, Ad holding a sharp catch in the slips: 30-2.

Phil got a clean bowled: 45-3.

Vicus' pace removed an off stump: 48-4.

Ivy held a catch off Phil's bowling: 69-5.

Phil managed to knock another stump over: 69-6.

I achieved a hat-trick (in my third maiden over): 77-9.

Rob finished their innings, with a ball clipped to Richard: 78-10.Tea was some kind of curry. This may have had an effect on our side's desire to get back into the pavillion as quickly as possible.

Ivy was our first player to be run out, going for a second run: 1-1.

Ad and Richard responded with three sixes, before Ad was bowled: 22-2.

Richard was caught by their keeper: 34-3.

Phil was caught, trying to hit a six: 36-4.

Vicus was run out: 44-5.

We needed just 35 more runs, but had lost half our wickets. Still, we had our main batsmen left, so no-one was unduly worried.

Rob was clean bowled: 45-6.

So was Christopher: 54-7.

Carol was run out, and we were in deep trouble: 59-8.

Which worsened when I was caught-and-bowled: 63-9.

I'm afraid Mincat threw her wicket away, going for a suicidal single: 65-10.
As a result of this loss we have slipped to third place in the league.Next week we play Kenya. I will treat them with due respect.

Saturday May 16th

2009-05-31T08:14:00.001+01:00

We played this match in Manchester, so that Kaz could come and cheer. The West Indies won the toss, and elected to bat.

The first wicket fell to Christopher, who bowled his man around his legs: 11-1.

Phil managed the next breakthrough, with Ad holding onto a sharp catch in the slips: 32-2.

Ivy held onto a drive off Christopher's bowling: 42-3.

With his next ball, Christopher held a catch himself: 42-4.

Lara then set about our bowling - he took 19 runs off my first over, as they tried to push the run rate up.

Rob held onto a drive from one of Vicus' balls: 82-5.

I got Lara with my next over - caught by Carol: 84-6.

I achieved a clean bowled in my next over: 86-7.

Rob's pacey ball took out the middle stump: 92-8.

And another: 94-9.

And finished the innings: 94-10.Tea was a traditional dish of Lancashire hotpot and chips, followed by Eccles cakes, Manchester Tart and some parkin with a slice of Lancashire cheese. Gosh, the catering quality has gone up since Z took over.

The target looked easily achievable, and we set off briskly, until Mincat was caught: 15-1.

I had pushed Ad up to number 3, as I haven't done much in the last two innings, he and Christopher continued the attack, until Christopher was caught: 26-2.

Ad was striking the ball nicely, but eventually edged to the keeper: 40-3.

ILTV was caught and bowled, and suddenly things were looking a little shaky: 43-4.

Richard and I steadied the ship, until he was caught and bowled: 78-5.

I persuaded Carol to take some deep breaths, and play steadily, and between us we saw the side home: 95-5.As you can see from the league table we're still second, with New Zealand leading by virtue of their extra game played.Next week we're away in Bangladesh.

Saturday May 9th 2009

2009-05-10T17:21:00.001+01:00

We flew into Sydney Airport with just five minutes to spare before the start of the match. Using Gardner Airlines may have been economical (and exciting) but not, perhaps, the speediest option.

I won the toss and elected to bat - setting a large target, which the opposition struggle to reach (and, incidentally, giving every player in our side a chance to bat) seems to have worked so far.

Mincat was caught and bowled when the score had reached 27-1.

Christopher was caught by their keeper: 36-2.

I brought Ad in higher up the order, as I know he's been working hard in the nets.

Annoyingly, I played a shot from Worde onto my pads, from where it gently rolled into my stumps: 45-3.

Carol was caught in the slips: 57-4.

Ad and ILTV took us past 100, Ad finally being caught just short of a maiden half-century: 106-5.

ILTV was run out: 121-6.

Ivy was caught and bowled by Worde: 154-7.

Rob was bowled: 155-8.

As was Phil: 158-9.

And Vicus: 163-10.Tea was a jolly affair, gathered round the glowing barbie. The taste of burnt plastic did, though, rather spoil the taste of the prawns.

After our return to the field, Vicus made a quick breakthrough with an LBW: 4-1.

Unfortunately this brought Ponting in - a player we have found it hard to dislodge in the past.

We did, however, manage to contain them to 2 or 3 an over - well below the rate they needed - until eventually they had to go for big shots - and Christopher was rewarded with a catch by Mincat: 47-2.

In his next over he tempted Ponting to do the same thing: 56-3.

Vicus was hit for three consecutive boundaries, before one fell slightly short and I was able to hang onto it: 80-4.

In his next over Rob tempted another drive to Mincat: 84-5.

And another to ILTV: 90-6.

With my final ball I got my revenge, clean bowling Worde: 94-7.

The final over of the match, from Christopher, saw just one run, and so they finished on 95-7. We win again.

Sadly I failed to photograph the scorebook before we left Australia. I can however confirm that our bowling figures were Vicus: 6 overs, 2 wickets for 41 runs, Rob: 6-2-14, Christopher: 5-2-9, me: 5-1-22, Ad: 2-0-9.

Mincat took 3 catches, and ILTV and I one each.

As the league table shows, New Zealand are going to be the team to beat.
Next week we're home against the West Indies.

Saturday May 2nd 2009

2009-05-10T17:20:00.000+01:00

I won the toss, and decided we'd bat first against an Indian attack noted for early pace, and cunning spin later.

Sadly, the early pace bit threw Christopher, who was given out LBW before he'd had time to get his eye in. 4-1.

Mincat and I seemed set and confident - until she ran me out: 25-2.

Mincat and Carol attacked the bowling successfully - until, that is, Carol was bowled: 53-3.

ILTV was also bowled: 87-4.

As their spin bowling didn't look that threatening, I decided to promote Ad up the order, to see if the time he's put in the nets had worked - it certainly had, as he scored a brisk 27 before being given out LBW: 121-5.

After a good, steady innings, building up 43 runs, Mincat was run out: 144-6.

Ivy was bowled: 153-7.

As was Rob: 161-8.

And Richard: 161-9. Those spinners were harder to read than it had appeared.

Vicus was dropped off the second ball he faced, and bowled by the next: 161-10.
Tea was gratefully taken, the lumps of ice in the incompletely-thawed pork pies helping to cool the blood.

We took to the field with a smaller target to defend than last week, but still something that seemed achievable, although heads started to drop after their opening batsmen attacked our pace bowlers from the start. Fortunately we are not a one-dimensional side* and some tight spin bowling from Phil slowed the run-rate, and took the first wicket too: 17-1.

After 15 overs they had reached 38-1, well behind the run-rate, but with enough wickets in hand to afford to be flamboyant. They did indeed start to strike out - but balls flying in the air also meant catching chances. Our pre-match fielding practice paid dividends - and in particular our lady members, embarrassed about last week's dropped chances, did well, each of them holding a catch.

ILTV was first, holding a difficult chance off Christopher's final over: 58-2.

Annoyingly, Vicus dropped a catch off my bowling. We did appreciate that it cannot be easy for a centenarian to react with the pace of youth.

Mincat, who was having a great match (apart from the little matter of having run her skipper out) took a one-handed catch off Rob's bowling: 79-3.

Carol held onto a ball that I'd bowled: 82-4.

As did Ivy: 87-5.

We got through our 30 overs with the score on 90-5, and so we won again.
As the table shows, we are now second in the league, with a match in hand over the leaders.
*We are a two-dimensional side. Literally.

Saturday 24th April 2009.

2009-04-26T08:17:00.002+01:00

The first match of the season saw us away in South Africa. They won the toss, and decided to put us in to bat. Our new opener, Christopher, had a baptism of fire, being hit in the box by the first two balls. This obviously irked him, as his next two shots went for four.

In the second over Mincat was bowled by their top fast bowler: 12-1.

Christopher and I took the attack to their opening bowlers, until, after a sparkling innings (he has certainly cemented his place as an opener) Christopher was bowled: 35-2.

Carol and I continued to push on aggressively, until she was caught by first slip: 87-3.

ILTV hit one magnificent six, but was caught trying for another: 104-4.

Richard was bowled: 122-5. Only 14 overs had been bowled, and already we'd lost half our team - my prediction that 30-30 matches should see our whole team bowled out looked likely to be fulfilled.

Our new team member, Ad, came in next. Frankly he struggled against hostile bowling, and was soon caught by the slips: 127-6. More time in the nets will, I'm sure, bring benefits.

Ivy came in, went for a suicidal second run, and was run out: 128-7.

This brought Rob in (to the confusion of the scorers, who now had an East at each end) just in time to see his captain celebrate the first half-century of the new season.After nearly running his Skipper out twice, Rob was caught-and-bowled: 176-8.

My wicket fell shortly after that: 180-9.

This left our tail-enders to make a magnificent stand. They failed, Vicus being caught-and-bowled: 180-10.After an interesting tea, provided by our hosts (biltong sandwiches, boerewors, gesmoorde vis and potjiekos) we trooped out to the field, confident that we had set a target that we could defend - indeed I pointed out to our bowlers that we need not bowl the opposition out, just keep them to scoring less than a run a ball, and we would win.

Our openers certainly did precisely what I'd asked - after ten overs, the South Africans had only managed to score 12 runs.

I then brought Vicus back for his second spell, and he achieved a caught-and-bowled: 12-1.

In his next over he manged to clean bowl his man: 12-2.

We reached 15 overs, the halfway point, with just 15 runs on the board - but with 8 wickets in hand, it was clear that the opposition could afford to take extravagant shots - which indeed they did, sixes starting to be struck.

After 18 overs, I brought on our final bowling pair, to the annoyance of the scorers, as once again they had an East at each end.

I deliberately gave the ball plenty of air, encouraging them to hit the ball over the ropes - I went for a few sixes, but eventually the ball flew to Rob, who held on to it: 45-3.

Sadly five more catches were dropped by the female members of our team (naming no names). Catching practice next week, ladies!

Eventually Mincat held onto a catch off Rob's bowling: 81-4.

Richard also took one: 82-5.

In the final over Rob took another catch off my bowling: 93-6.

I bowled two more batsmen, and the match ended with them on 93-8.

We won.

Saturday 26th July 2008.

2008-07-27T01:05:00.002+01:00

As we were in Africa, I fixed up a game against Kenya. They won the toss, and decided to bat.

Vicus took a wicket in the first over: 1-1.

That may have given us a false impression of their ability, as they then started to attack our mainline bowlers, and it took some time before Tom managed to get an edge, held by a diving Richard: 30-2.

Two balls later, a yorker knocked over off stump: 31-3.

I bowled my man the next over: 31-4 And another: 31-5 And one more: 31-6.

My kidneys were troubling me, so I took myself off at this point. Unfortunately, none of our other bowlers seemed able to trouble them, and runs were flowing freely, so I reluctantly dragged myself back, knocking over all four of their remaining wickets for 2 runs (both extraordinary umpiring decisions, given as no-balls). All out for 80 – oh, and yet another 5-fer for me.

There were some heated words said about the umpires at tea. I’m not sure Vicus really helped to cool things down, when he poured a cup of tea over one of them.

Before my back stiffened any more, I decided to open the batting myself. They turned out to be quite quick bowlers, as Carol found to her cost when she nicked the ball to the keeper: 18-1.

I was then given out LBW in an extraordinary display of umpiring incompetence – the replay clearly showing that the ball had hit my bat: 25-2.

CB was caught: 38-3

As was Steg: 46-4.

Christopher was caught-and-bowled: 48-5.

Ivy was out LBW: 51-6.

Richard was bowled: 62-7.

It looked very much as if we were in for the same sort of disaster that had overtaken us last week, when finally all the hard work Phil had put in at the pie-shop, sorry, nets paid off, as he saw us home – finishing the match with a well-executed boundary. We won.

Saturday 19th July 2008

2008-07-20T09:58:00.001+01:00

We had a match planned against Zimbabwe, but for obvious reasons I cancelled it. However the minibus had been booked to take us to Africa, so at short notice I arranged to arrange a game against the Namibian national side.

I think we all assumed this would be a walk in the park; certainly I had plenty of volunteers to bowl at them, so when I won the toss I put them in, and said that everyone could bowl one over – starting with our weaker bowlers, and leaving the heavy guns to break any resistance.

It looked as if we were right, as in the second over I bowled a man with my first ball (yes, I do consider myself one of our weaker bowlers – certainly the computer ranking shows five bowlers with better abilities than me at present): 2-1.

Sadly, Ivy dropped a catch off my third ball.

The runs slowly but steadily built after that, with no more chances being offered, until I eventually brought the big boys on – and Richard held on to an edge off Tom’s bowling: 28-2.

Vicus eventually sent a stump flying: 43-3.

Phil too bowled his man: 69-4.

I polished off the tail in seven balls, including a hat-trick and yet another five-fer. All out for 70.

There were some excited faces over tea. Our batting seemed to have steadied last week, and their attack didn’t look threatening. Certain people had great expectations that we would score the necessary runs inside ten overs.

We were soon shaken out of our complacency, when CB, looking to repeat last week’s half-century, was out for a duck when the score had reached: 15-1.

I was bowled soon after: 15-2.

Carol as given out LBW: 25-3.

Steg scored quickly, but was then caught: 42-4.

Richard was caught by the keeper: 45-5.

Christopher was run out going for a suicidal second run: 66-6.

Still, we only needed five runs to win, with four wickets in hand.

Make that three wickets, when Phil was clean bowled: 66-7.

A single and two no-balls brought the score to 69-7 – one run needed to tie.

Mincat played on: 69-8.

Ivy was bowled: 69-9.

Tom’s wicket fell too, and so we lost by one run.

More time in the nets everyone.

Saturday 19th July 2008

2008-07-20T09:58:00.000+01:00

Saturday 12th July 2008-07-10

2008-07-13T01:04:00.000+01:00

The West Indies looked like being formidable opposition, as they seemed to be the men of three years ago, with Lara at his peak. They won the toss and decided to bat. Twelve overs of mainly defensive play against our main-line bowlers saw them at 28-0, with not a single wicket-taking chance being offered. I decide to try a few of our lesser bowlers, to see if I could tempt the batsmen into doing something rash.

That tactic failed, so I returned to our main bowlers – which is when they did decide to attack. With runs flowing freely and no sign of being able to get them our, I cursed the fact that I’d agreed that we’d play a 50-over match, rather than our usual 40-overs.

Chindarpool’s 50 came up in the 29th over, with the score on 82-0.

Finally, with Goyler on 47, and a little excited about getting his half-century (yes, the computer does actually factor in nerves at times like this, it is an amazingly clever little programme) Tom managed to knock out his middle stump: 115-1.

Christopher took a brilliant catch off Mincat’s bowling to dismiss Chindarpool: 142-2.

Unfortunately that brought Lara in, and he set about our bowling – but before he got too far, I tempted him with an off-spinner, which he mis-hit, Ivy holding the catch: 157-3.

Richard held an edge off Mincat: 157-4.

Two overs later I held a catch off Mincat – her swing bowling was the decisive factor here, as it really seemed to be deceiving them: 175-5.

A few balls later I held another catch: 176-6.

The next over Ivy held another catch off my bowling: 176-7.

I knocked out the off-stump with my next ball: 176-8.

And took a hat-trick with the next: 176-9.

And another five-fer with my next: 176 all out.

Despite my five wicket haul, I would say that Mincat was definitely the pick of our bowlers.

Tea-time was quiet. I think we were all very conscious of our poor batting performance over the last month, and against an impressive line-up of both speed and spin our prospects looked hopeless. There were some very pasty faces around the table (oddly matching the Cornish pasties we were eating).

Carol and CB made a solid start, before Carol was bowled: 28-1.

Mine was the next wicket to fall, when I casually edged the ball to the slips: 49-2.

CB was dropped twice, but rode her luck to a fine maiden half-century:

Sadly, she was caught behind soon after, but not before she and Steg had pushed our score to: 104-3.

Steg had been striking the ball well, but was finally caught on the boundary: 140-4.

It looked as if Richard and Christopher would see us home, but sadly Richard was caught off a top edge: 164-5.

Within sight of the finishing tape Christopher was caught-and-bowled: 174-6.

With the scores tied, Ivy was bowled, as she tried to hit the winning run: 176-7.

The match ended in anti-climax, as they bowled a wide, and thus our 177th run came up and we won the match.

Saturday 5th July 2008

2008-07-06T05:25:00.000+01:00

After two hopeless performances, I arranged what should have been a rather easier match. Let’s face it, the Netherlands aren’t renowned in the cricketing world.

I won the toss, and realising that we needed as much batting practice as possible, decided we’d bat first. To be perfectly honest, their bowling attack was fairly innocuous, so I can only conclude that some of you weren’t taking this seriously.

Our first wicket fell when Carol edged the ball to the keeper: 31-1.

CB sliced the ball to the slips: 43-2.

Steg was given out LBW: 72-3.

Christopher edged the ball to the slips: 83-4.

I was clean bowled: 87-5.

Richard also edged the ball to the slips: 93-6.

Phil was bowled: 102-7.

As was MinCat: 106-8.

Vicus was given out LBW: 114-9.

Tom was bowled, leaving us all out for 117.

A bowl of oranges was presented to us for tea.

I felt their batting line-up probably posed no challenges to our modest total, so said that
everyone could have a bowl, while I took the other end, and tried to keep things tight.

Vicus bowled an opener in his over: 0-1.

My first ball clean bowled the other opener: 4-2.

My second ball also took a wicket: 4-3.

Phil dropped a caught-and-bowled chance.

The next over saw me hit for four boundaries, and I considered taking myself off, but things
changed rapidly in the next over, as Tom bowled a man with his first and third balls, and achieved an LBW with his 5^th: 28-6.

I took a wicket the next over: 30-7.

Two overs later I took another, and another (giving me a five-fer) and then a hat-trick to finish the match: 32 all out.

We mustn’t crow. I anticipate stronger opposition next week.

Saturday 28th June 2008

2008-06-29T09:23:00.000+01:00

After last week’s shambles, I must admit I was concerned to learn that we were playing South Africa this week. My worries deepened when they won the toss and decided to bat.

The match started quietly enough; a gentle accumulation of runs until the 8^th over, when Christopher managed a clean bowled: 14-1.

The first change of bowlers saw MinCat get an edge to Richard; 16-2.

They attacked us during the next eight overs –Tom in particular not looking his usual aggressive self – finally Phil held a catch off Mincat’s bowling: 46-3.

Three more expensive overs from our openers, and the score had risen to 72, and so I decided it was time to risk spin, in the hope that we might slow them up. A maiden over from me seemed to be doing the trick, but two sixes off Phil’s next over rather undid my good work.

They attacked Phil’s second over too, but one of their aerial balls failed to cross the rope and was caught by Ivy: 94-4.

I wasn’t sure we could afford to buy wickets, so brought Mincat and Vicus back – Christopher held a catch off Vicus: 123-5 and Richard one off the next ball: 123-6.

I held a catch off Mincat’s bowling: 124-7.

Vicus’ bladder problem was hampering his run-up, so I brought myself back on, taking two quick wickets: 132-8, 132-9.

Christopher polished them off, with an edge to Richard: all out for 132.

Ostrich egg sandwiches for tea were, apparently, someone’s bright idea to make our visitors feel at home.

After last week’s dismal batting performance, lots of time had been spent in the nets, and I promised a few people the chance to bat a bit higher up the order – particularly as 133 didn’t seem an impossible target.

Carol getting herself run out in the first over was not part of the plan: 1-1.

Ivy scored a creditable 11 against hostile fast bowling, before being bowled: 13-2.

CB’s was the next wicket to fall, caught behind: 36-3.

Phil was caught and bowled, having scored a valuable 16 runs: 43-4.

Steg was bowled soon after: 48-5.

Chris and I managed to hold the ship together, and steadily amassed the runs, until he was
bowled: 74-6.

I was then unfortunately given out LBW, trying (stupidly) to sweep the first ball from their spin bowler: 78-7.

Mincat was run out: 80-8.

In desperation, Richard, our last remaining recognised batsman, struck a magnificent six, but was then caught and bowled the next ball: 88-9.

Our innings ended when Tom was adjudged LBW: all out for 90.

We lose again. Extra work in the nets, I feel, will be required this week.

Saturday 21st june 2008

2008-06-22T05:44:00.001+01:00

Pakistan won the toss, and elected to bat, on a hard, dry wicket – presumably expecting it to break up by the time they bowled. For the same reason, I reserved spin for the second half of the innings, hoping we might have some cracks, or at least dusty patches, to aim for.

Tom took the first wicket, as an edge flew to Richard: 16-1, and then followed with one of his trademark caught-and-bowleds: 24-2. I realised then that, however many wickets I might eventually take, it would be fewer than last week.

Christopher achieved a caught-and-bowled in the next over: 28-3.

Their next pair, however, settled in and started to score relatively freely; 20 overs through saw the score at 78-3, and I decided it was time to introduce spin. My decision was justified when Mincat took a fine catch off my bowling: 78-4.

Vicus held a catch off my next over: 79-5.

Ivy dropped a catch during my next over, but Phil managed to bowl the chap shortly thereafter, so no harm done: 95-6.

Two balls later and Ivy held a catch: 96-7.

I polished off the tail with a hat-trick, and a five-fer: 96 all out.

I must apologise that I failed to take a photograph of the bowling statistics. I can tell you that Christopher got one wicket, Tom took 2 for 41, Phil 2 for 9 and I managed 5 for 9.

Over tea Vicus was heard loudly complaining that he had bowled fewer overs than the other pace men, and therefore had less chances to improve his statistics. I decided, therefore, that it was only fair to allow him to go out first, on this wicket which was now looking distinctly unfriendly, to face the Pakistan fast bowlers.

The first ball hit him in the ribs. The second one struck him on the elbow. The third one split his box in two. The fourth one did the same to his middle stump. Out, after having faced rather fewer balls than he might have hoped, albeit that his injuries were less than we had expected: 0-1.

Two balls later Carol followed him back to the pavilion: 1-2.

They really were bowling very fast, as CB found when she too was bowled the next over: 1-3.

Eventually Steg and Christopher managed to get their eyes in, and whilst essentially playing defensively, did manage to score a few runs, until Steg was caught-and-bowled: 19-4.

I had delayed coming in myself, as I do not relish fast bowling. I had no choice now, so came out at number 6. Christopher and I stayed together for several defensive overs, hoping to see the fast bowlers off, before Christopher edged to the slips: 28-5.

Richard was clean bowled: 30-6.

Eventually the slower bowlers were brought on, and I felt I had no choice but to attack, and try to push our score along – sadly I edged a ball to the keeper: 42-7.

Phil was given out LBW: 44-8.

Mincat edged the next ball to the keeper: 44-9.

Our last wicket fell when Tom was bowled. All out for 45. Not our greatest performance.

Saturday 14th June 2008

2008-06-15T06:39:00.000+01:00

We played Canada. Possibly not the strongest opposition we will ever face. I won the toss, and on what looked like a good batting wicket, with short boundaries, I decided we’d bat. I also felt fitter than I have for some time (I’ve been dieting hard for a couple of weeks now, and am starting to lose some weight) and so decided I would open the batting myself.

My first 50 runs came up quite quickly.

Our first wicket fell with the score on 117, when Carol was given out LBW.

CB didn’t seem comfortable, and was out when the score had reached 143.

The next over saw me achieve my first century this season.

Christopher was caught out going for a six on the short boundary: 167-3.

My 150 was the next landmark.

Steg was caught when the score had reached 253-4.

My 200 came up at the same time as our score passed 300. With Richard’s assistance I reached 250 the over before he achieved 50.

We batted nicely in tandem, my 300:

Being followed closely by his century:

Two balls later Richard pushed our score to over 500, and I gave him permission to keep the strike, and go for a slog. A series of sixes saw his score leap to 156 before he was finally caught. 573-5.

Ivy seemed to be dreaming as she played – perhaps she thought she was on holiday. Certainly a lack of concentration on her part saw me run out with only a few overs of our innings left – I was a little disappointed, as I was hoping for a not out to help my batting average – still, I suppose my score of 330 may boost my figures anyway. 578-6

Ivy’s daydream continued, and saw her run out too. 604-7

MinCat was bowled: 608-8.

Phil scored quickly, and our 40 overs ended with our score on 625-8.

I must admit I went for a lie-down during the tea interval, so I am unable to comment about the quality of the catering. I understand, though, that the scones (with a choice of raspberry or strawberry jam and clotted cream) were very nice.

With a target which I thought we could defend, I promised everyone a chance to bowl – with the proviso that I would bowl my overs first, so that I could then go out into the deep and have a snooze.

Needing to score fast, I think the Canadian batsmen saw my gentle spin bowling as an opportunity to slog – and so perhaps played a little rashly, as the first wicket fell to me. And the second. And the third. And the fourth. And the fifth. And the sixth. And the seventh (a hat-trick). And the eighth. And the ninth. Oh, and the final wicket too.

We won by a mere 613 runs.

In the bar afterwards there was much heated debate about who should be given the man of the match award. Modesty forbids me from commenting, but I will note that this is my highest score with the bat (to date) and I suspect these will be my best bowling figures ever (well, I can’t quite see how I could improve on them, other than getting the wickets in slightly less overs).

Saturday 7th June 2008

2008-06-08T06:42:00.004+01:00

We played Sri Lanka this time, and just for a change I won the toss, and decided we’d bat. Defensive play against strong bowling saw us reach 27 before CB’s wicket fell.

Carol’s wicket fell when we’d reached 42.

The same bowler took Steg’s wicket, soon followed by Christopher’s. Two balls later he got Richard’s wicket, along with his five-fer: 62-5.

Merilitherin then came on, with his sneaky spin, and bowled me with his first ball, and had Ivy caught and bowled. At 66-7 we were into the tail, who subsided fairly quickly (fortunately a large number of wides were bowled, to help our score, which finished at 82-10).

The least said about the behaviour of some of our players at tea-time, the better.

Clearly with such a low target to defend, tight bowling would be the order of the day. We could only afford to give away two runs an over, and I warned all our bowlers that anyone not keeping up with that standard would be dropped forthwith. Given last week’s performance, Phil’s face fell somewhat.

Tom and Vicus opened, and Tom (as he so often does) managed a caught and bowled after only one run was on the board. Sadly, Vicus dropped a similar chance the next over.

Our second pairing brought some youth into the attack, as Christopher and I had a go. Christopher held his caught and bowled chance.

We finished the opening spell from our key bowlers, with 16 overs bowled, and just 14 runs on the board. Could Phil and MinCat be as economical?

Phil showed us that last week was an aberration, with three maiden overs, while MinCat took a wicket.

I returned to our openers, who were slightly more expensive, as was Christopher when we moved to our second string attack, although I was continuing to bowl maidens, so I stuck to spin and brought Phil back – he dropped a caught and bowled chance in his first over, but took a wicket in his second, so that’s OK.

I took myself off with one over of my spell left – I said I’d bowl the final over, and risk being hit for sixes as the run chase hotted up.

Vicus took a couple of wickets in his final spell, and with two overs left our tight bowling plan had worked, as they still needed 33 runs – not an impossible target of course, and full attention from the whole team was still required.

I took a caught and bowled with the final ball of the match; Sri Lanka finished on just 54-7 and so we won by 28 runs!!

As the scoreboard shows, every bowler had an economy rate of below two an over, as I had requested. Well done to all concerned.

Saturday 31/5/08

2008-06-01T02:07:00.002+01:00

Having beaten New Zealand last week, some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to play Australia.

They won the toss and decided to bat.

Tom made the first breakthrough, with a clean bowled: 26-1.

Several overs later, Carol held a catch off Tom’s bowling: 47-2.

A top edge off Christopher’s bowling gave me a catching opportunity: 59-3.

Two overs later Richard took his first catch of the season (a fine dive to his left): 64-4.

Our pace bowlers were looking very tired by this stage, having bowled most of their overs; I turned to spin, but when Phil was hit for three sixes off consecutive balls, had to take him off – and Christopher got his third wicket as Ivy held a catch: 86-5.

Another edge to Richard off Christopher’s bowling: 98-6.

The next ball sees Christopher clean bowl his man, and get a five-fer in the match: 98-7.

I took the last three wickets.

Christopher’s cakes were, sadly, too heavy to transport over from France, so it’s a good thing ILTV had baked some fairy cakes, which went down a treat. I think the Aussies got the point.

We made a good start against aggressive fast bowling, our first wicket falling at 29. I was feeling a little unwell (too many fairy cakes I suspect) so Ivy went in next, and came back soon after: 30-2.

Christopher, our next batsman in, played a nice little cameo, before their spin bowler winkled him out: 62-3.

Fancying the idea of some spin bowling, I came in, in time to see Carol clean bowled: 66-4.

Steg’s wicket soon fell too: 71-5.

Could Richard and I make the sort of stand we had done last week? No. I was given out LBW (Hawkeye later showed it was not out): 73-6.

We were down to the tail now, particularly when Richard was bowled; 82-7.

Phil too was bowled: 82-8.

As was MinCat: 87-9.

Once again it was left to Vicus and Tom to save the day. The Australians kindly bowled a few no-balls and wides, to push the scores a little closer, but when Tom’s wicket fell we had only reached 94, and so lost the match.

Match 24/5/08

2008-05-25T02:11:00.000+01:00

New Zealand won the toss, and decided to bat, in this 40 over match.

Vicus and Christopher opened the bowling, reasonably economically in their first 4 over spell (half of their allowance of 8 overs per bowler).

Phil and Tom followed, equally mean.

However, when MinCat and I started to bowl, we were knocked all over the place. After two overs I took us off, and returned to Vicus and Christopher. This is the problem I mentioned last week – we do not have a great reserve of bowlers.

In fact, it turned out that it wasn’t so much that we were easy meat, but that the New Zealand batsmen had decided, at this halfway point in their innings, and with no wickets down, to go on the attack, as they proceeded to drive powerful shots all over the field.

The one advantage of this was that the ball was going in the air, and Christopher achieved his first wicket for the club, when I held a skying ball.

The next over Phil took a catch off Vicus’ bowling (this may be the first catch Phil has ever held – no doubt he’ll tell me if my memory is faulty).

I told Christopher to take a rest, and brought Tom back on – the rest was short-lived, as Christopher sprinted to take a difficult catch.

Two overs later I held another catch off Tom’s bowling.

Phil managed to clean bowl his man next over.

We were now in the last quarter of their innings, and I had no choice but to bring myself back on if we were going to complete our full quota of overs.

Our all-spin attack worried them – Phil managed a caught and bowled (his first?) and then another clean bowled, before I took the final three wickets.

New Zealand all out for 137.

Tea was interesting. It is fascinating what can be achieved with kiwi fruit.

The target looked easily achievable, but our chances of reaching 138 were not helped in the first over, when a mix-up over the call left Carol run out. I asked Steg to go in next, as my bootlace had snapped. Sadly he was bowled in the same opening over, so I had to come in, still trying to knot the piece of string Vicus had found in his bag.

We managed to steady matters slightly, before our American opener was caught going for a silly slog.

The score now stood at 17-3, and things were looking desperate. Christopher, however, now arrived at the crease. After his half-century last week, I was assured of a steady partner, who would soon push us towards the target.

Unfortunately, he was out LBW shortly thereafter, with the score on a disheartening 23-4.

Richard and I had no choice now but to play defensively, and attempt to grind the runs out. We made steady progress, albeit mainly in singles, and had managed to push the score up to a respectable 97 before I was bowled.

Sadly, the next over Richard fell too, and at 111-6 we were down to the tail, and in serious trouble.

Things did not improve when Phil was given out LBW: 112-7.

MinCat fell the same way: 117-8.

A slight stand followed, but when Ivy’s wicket fell at 132-9 we were left with Vicus and Tom to try to achieve the six runs we needed for victory.

A hush descended, as everyone held their breath.

They did it! We won: 138-9.

Match 17/5/08

2008-05-18T05:31:00.005+01:00

Our first match of the season. We played India All-Stars in a 30-30 match. Tension was high in our new squad (with two players fresh to the team, and some old favourites taking a season off). We gave a traditional hearty handshake to our American Cousin, who is looking for a sport a bit more exciting than rowing, and Christopher Campbell-Howes, who (despite having said on page 10 of his excellent book French Leaves that he had moved to the Languedoc region to avoid compatriots urging one to join the cricket team) has finally realised what he is missing.

I lost the toss, and the opposition decided to bat first. Vicus and Christopher opened the bowling – Mr C-H achieving two maiden overs in the first six-over spell, which saw the opposition score just 10 runs.

I then brought on Tom and Phil, who were slightly more expensive – after 12 overs the score had moved on to 25-0.

I have a slight problem this season: we need a minimum of five bowlers (for no-one is allowed to bowl more than 20% of the match total) which is what we have. However, if anyone fails to perform, we will have to try some of our more casual players.

I brought myself on for a short spell with Christopher at the other end – taking a wicket with my 4^th ball, as Ivy held a fine catch. Starting the season with a wicket maiden is quite satisfying.

After Christopher was hit for three sixes in one over I tried Tom and Vicus out – Vicus took his first wicket of the season when I held a catch.

His second wicket came when Ivy held another catch

Sadly he was knocked about badly in his next over, so I brought Phil back, who managed to bowl his man.

I then held a catch off Phil’s bowling.

With six overs left to be bowled, I brought Tom on for his final spell – and he took the vital wicket of Dravud, who was on 63 at the time, with a nice caught and bowled.

The next ball he managed to clean bowl the new batsman.

I had brought myself back on to bowl the final few overs – Ivy took her third catch of the day off my first ball.

In the final over of the match Mincat took a brilliant catch low down.

And the last wicket fell to my spin bowling.

All out for 166.

The least said about tea the better. Someone had forgotten the milk. And the tea. Cups of hot water all round did not go down very well.

We opened the batting in impressive style. A new lightweight Carol struck the ball firmly and had made a quick 23 when she nicked the ball to the keeper.

Chaucer’s Friend, despite batting as if she were using a baseball racquet struck the ball firmly, including one magnificent six, before being given out LBW (a rule she still hasn’t quite mastered).

Steg did apologise most handsomely for running me out in a silly call. I can assure him that I won’t hold it against him (this time). The rumours that he will be batting at no. 11 the rest of the season are entirely unfounded.

Steg was out for 36, after he and Christopher had put on 57 runs, and virtually made the game safe at 133-4.

Christopher and Richard then went to finish the match in grand style, Christopher scoring a maiden 50 for the club.

We finished on 170-4, and thus won our first match of the season.

Huzzah for us!!!

Test Match. Day 4.

2007-12-29T07:52:00.000Z

There were some very tired faces this morning, and wilting bodies. Three days of sport has taken its toll. I decided, therefore, that we would change bowlers very regularly, so that no-one got too tired. We could, potentially, be in the field for two whole days, as Sri Lanka battled to score six hundred runs.

In fact, though, it seems that they were rather daunted by the target we had set.

After our openers had failed to worry the batsmen, our first change, to spin, resulted in a breakthrough, as I deceived Joyewordine with my looping flighted ball, and clean bowled him: 35-2.

Carol took the next wicket: 43-3.

The batting side had completely gone into their shells. Instead of aggressively trying to score the runs they needed, they seemed to be trying to bat out the whole two days, in the hope of a draw. At lunch they had reached just 72-3.

Phil finally got a wicket, when the score had reached 98-4.

After that they lost all hope of saving the match, as wickets steadily fell:

Tom took one in the next over: 99-5 .

Vicus got the next: 108-6.

Tom took another two: 110-8.

I took the last two wickets: 117-10.

We won the match by a magnificent 504 runs!!

Now we’re off for a party.

Test Match. Day 3

2007-12-28T07:42:00.000Z

We started the day with a stern team talk from our skipper. We stood just one run behind them, with nine wickets in hand, and three whole days still available. Clearly, sensible, defensive batting must be the order of the day, with runs being taken when available, but no rash shots played.

We opened well, Jona achieving her half-century in the first over, but then sadly Lisa, in an overenthusiastic attempt to make a second run, ran herself out.

I arrived at the crease with the score only standing at 88-2. My scores of the world tour meant nothing now, as I have started again as a club player, so I did not realistically expect to do much. I was determined, however, to stand my ground for as long as I could, whilst better players score the runs.

Sadly, Jona was out for 63 soon after, with the score now on 93-3.

Then our own particular Christmas miracle happened. Our batsperson of the year, Frangelita, and I came together, and we were able to play sensibly, on a wicket which appeared to have slowed a bit. At lunch our fourth wicket partnership stood at an amazing unbeaten 180, with me on 95 and Frangelita on 74.

My century came up in the first over after lunch. In the following over, our partnership passed 200. The next over saw Fran get her century too.

Despite being a mere club player, this wicket, and their bowling attack (which was tiring fast) really suited my style of play.

Frangelita was finally out for 106, our partnership having put on a very useful 265 runs. 358-4.

Steg came out very aggressively, and immediately started knocking the old ball around – including a magnificent six. We took our stand to over one hundred, but I was tiring, and eventually edged a catch to the slips, having scored 192. 482-5.

That brought Richard on, and the prospect of another century had brought a glint to his eyes. Sadly he tamely knocked his first ball straight back, and was out caught-and-bowled. Steg was out shortly after, caught going for another six, having scored a very fast 84. I was heard to ask, plaintively, ‘whatever happened to my “let’s bat all day and part of tomorrow” plan?’

Ivy was caught behind, having made 30.

We went in for tea at 546-8, with just our three tail-end bowlers to try to extend our lead further.

Phil fell shortly after tea (the extra portion of curry may not have been a good idea) leaving the score on 558-9, with Tom and Vicus in the middle. I’d told them they had two options – get out, and they would have to open the bowling, and get Sri Lanka out for less than our current lead. Alternatively, they could try to stay in, and give us a better cushion.

They tried for the latter option – and Vicus played a beautiful, graceful cameo innings. Our tail-enders completely frustrated their slower bowlers, and when they took the new ball and brought on the quicker men, with four slips, the ball just shot through the big gaps in the field to the boundary instead.

Vicus managed to score a century, but was then caught and bowled, leaving us all out for a magnificent 693, giving us a lead of 621 runs.

Here is our score-sheet.

Sri Lanka had a tricky four overs to face. Tom managed to take a wicket in the penultimate over, and play ended with them on 17-1, needing another 605 runs to win.

Test Match. Day 2.

2007-12-27T08:40:00.000Z

Dawn saw a few bleary eyes, but also a magnificent team of athletes, raring for another day’s play.

Unfortunately, they were the Sri Lankan team. BMCC players looked a little more woebegone.

We knew that today could be the crunch part of the match. We must make that early breakthrough, and ideally get the opposition out for less than the 329 we’d scored – or else our second innings was likely to be very hard work indeed.

Unfortunately, our fast bowlers just couldn’t get a wicket, so eventually I asked Jona to try an over of slow bowling – and one kept very low and achieved our first wicket of the day – by which time, though, the score had moved on to 201-3.

The old ball was doing nothing for us at all; in an effort to get through it without tiring out our main bowlers, I allowed the more junior players to make use of it – entirely unsuccessfully - so just before lunch I brought Tom back, and he broke through, with two wickets in two balls, leaving them on 271-5 at the interval.

We took the new ball straight after lunch, but went through the entire next session without a single wicket. They went in for tea on 355-5, 26 runs ahead of us, and with five wickets in hand. There were some very glum faces over the tea table. Many of us couldn’t face eating anything. Even Phil only managed four pies.

And some sandwiches.

And a couple of cakes.

Oh, and some trifle.

We came out after tea determined to break this stand. Eventually I did it, with a tricky, flighted ball, which dipped at the last minute and took his off-stump. My next ball also took a wicket, and suddenly at 396-7 things looked a little more hopeful.

Tom and I wrapped the innings up between us, bowling them out for 401 – a first innings lead to Sri Lanka of 72. Tom achieved a five-fer, as the scoreboard shows.

That left us a tricky nine overs to get through before the close of play. I ordered our batsmen to block as much as possible, and only to play at loose balls. With three more days to get through, a result is certain (weather permitting) and we must use up as many of those hours as we can, in batting.

First, though, we had that deficit of 72 runs to clear up.

By the time the final over came round, we had scored 70 of those runs, without losing a wicket. Sadly in that last over, Merithitheran managed to get Carol to play on.

We ended the day on 71-1, with Jona poised at 49, likely to spend a restless night, wondering whether she would make her half-century in the morning.

Test Match. Day 1.

2007-12-26T07:50:00.000Z

Well, we got here safely, and with a strictly enforced policy of early to bed and early to rise, the whole team, scorers and supporters were at the ground by 6.30 for a quick nets session before play started. I should explain that I wiped all the experience gained on the world tour, so I start from scratch again as a basic club player – so expect no great things from me this match. The rest of you, however are still all England players (albeit from a couple of years ago).

Our one-off Test Match against Sri Lanka started well, with me winning the toss. I decided we should bat.

The next hour saw us going downhill rapidly, and our number seven (and last of the recognised batsmen) Richard came in with the score on a mere 77-5.

Things changed after that. Richard has obviously been putting in quality time with our new batting coach, Annette Practice, since the summer season ended, and they do say that Practice makes perfect – it certain does in Richard’s case, for he drove and cut magnificently.

Richard and Lisa’s stand took us to 233-5 at lunch, with Richard on 98 and Lisa on 50.

Richards’ century came up shortly after lunch.

Sadly he was run out shortly after that, bringing Phil in to bat opposite Lisa. The newly-engaged couple’s egging each other on to run faster didn’t pay dividends, with Lisa being run out, having reached a splendid 72.

We were well into our tail by this time, but Phil at least made amends for having got Lisa run out, by playing some powerful shots. He was the last man out, by which time, as the score-board shows, we had reached a respectable 329-10.

Vicus and Tom opened our attack, and looked very mean with the new ball – Vicus taking the first wicket, after hitting the batsman on the helmet with a vicious bouncer, and then yorking him next ball.

After that the opposition dug in, and as the shine went from the ball we found it harder and harder to trouble them. I tried out every bowler, just in case the conditions suited someone unusual – but no surprises came our way. Eventually Tom made a breakthrough, once again by hitting his man with one fast ball, and then bowling him with the next.

Sadly that just brought another competent batsman in, and we tolled away without success, as the light faded. At the end of day one, then, Sri Lanka stand at 172-2: 157 runs behind, with eight wickets in hand.

We must hope for an early breakthrough tomorrow.

Now we’re all off for a minor banquet, to celebrate Phil and Lisa’s engagement, and another early night.

Annual Dinner and Awards Ceremony.

2007-12-22T08:26:00.000Z

Bowler of the Year: Tom, who thundered in as opening bowler at most matches, achieving two five-fers and 27 wickets on the tour.

Batsperson of the Year: Frangelita, who is turning into a very stylish player, scoring 361 runs on tour, including a century.

Fielder of the Year: Richard, for his poised professionalism behind the stumps.

Best supporting player: Ivy, for supporting the rest of the team in both batting and bowling.

Winner of the Golden Pencil, Scorer of the Year: I,LTV.

The award for Services to Tea-making was shared this year, by Ziggi and Jona.

The Ginsters Award, for having eaten the most pies, went to Phil.

Supporter of the Year: for vigorous use of her pom-poms - the Cornish Rambler.

The Ian Botham Memorial Trophy, for All-Rounder of the Year: Dave, for his 1,043 runs and 83 wickets on tour.

World Tour 2007 - Results

2007-11-05T16:43:00.000Z

Played: 18.

Won: 15

Lost: 3

Highest Score: 743-10

Lowest Score: 18-4

And here are the batting and bowling tables:

WORLD TOUR – Match 18

2007-11-04T07:42:00.001Z

We arrived in the Netherlands for the last match in our world tour.

Complacent, I have to say, seemed to be your attitude. Having won the toss, and elected to bat, I heard several of you boasting (last week seems to have gone to a few people’s heads) that you would be achieving your best scores of the series here.

Well, their bowling attack wasn’t bad. Only Richard and I managed to get into double figures.

All out for 81 really didn’t impress anyone.

Tea (cheese sandwiches and glasses of beer) seemed to go to some of your heads too. I heard all sorts of claims about your bowling ability – so decided to let each of you have one over, starting with the recognised bowlers, while I plodded in at the other end, tying them up with my spin.

That seemed to work. They could bowl OK, but they certainly aren’t batsmen. All out for 12 was, I suppose I would have to say, not a bad result.

The full result of our tour, batting averages etc will be posted here and at my own site, tomorrow.

WORLD TOUR – Match 17

2007-10-28T07:36:00.000Z

Well, that was an interesting match. Canada aren’t renowned as world-leaders in the field of cricket, so we expected a fairly easy game. When we arrived at the ground, though, and saw how small it was, I could see several of you practising extravagant strokes – obviously with sixes in mind.

We weren’t disappointed. Most of us who managed to make a start (and didn’t just swing away at the first ball they saw) were well rewarded. The runs certainly flowed. I’d like to pay particular respect to Richard for his long-overdue half-century, and our vice-captain, Frangelita for her century. Both of them scored entirely in boundaries – look at the score-sheet: 124 runs off just 30 balls!

We were all guilty, though, of greediness – in looking for too many sixes. Even I (I’ve only ever hit a six once in real life – my normal selection of shots keeps the ball low) was tempted into the odd aired shot. Seven of us caught out tells its own story. Who knows how much we could have gone on to score, had we just been a little more cautious.

Even so, I believe our total of 743 all out is a club record.

Tea was pleasant. If you like moose fritters, that is.

I think our score completely demoralised the Canadian team – and Tom bowling their opener with the first ball of their innings didn’t help them either.

We fairly quickly ran through them – as usual, I found that tail-end batsmen just don’t know how to play spin, and so Phil and I picked up a few wickets between us.

So, we win again.

Next week we’re off to the Netherlands, for the last match in our world tour.

WORLD TOUR – Match 16

2007-10-20T16:17:00.000+01:00

Well, after the last few matches, I suspect we all thought this was going to be a stroll in the park. The USA aren’t, after all, noted for their cricketing prowess.

They won the toss, and elected to bat. I said I’d try to give you all at least one over to bowl at them, provided they lasted that long – and I’d start with those of you who don’t normally bowl.

Call me selfish, if you like, but it’s my game, and I’m captain, so I did reserve the right to take one end as mine from the start, and bowl all my overs in one go. Sadly, you didn’t all get a chance to bowl, as we knocked them over fairly quickly.

I took the last four wickets with the first four balls of my final over. My only slight disappointment is that Carol and Vicus between them managed to stop me getting a ten-wicket haul for the first time in my life. Still, I think 9 wickets for one run (and that was a no-ball) is still probably my lifetime best (so far, anyway).

We had time to play our innings before tea; Phil was urging us to get it over with as soon as possible, as he’d seen the size of the burgers we were having. I had intended to put myself down at number eleven, to give the rest of you a chance to bat, but a slip of the finger put me in at number one instead – so I quite deliberately lifted my bat, and allowed myself to be clean bowled (although even then it took them three balls to do it).

It was not my intention that the rest of our top order batspeople should follow that example – but that’s what happened. Finally, Richard (who has been working hard to improve his batting, I know) came to the crease with Frangelita, and they knocked-off the runs very easily – Fran finishing with a stylish six to win the match for us.

Next week Canada.

WORLD TOUR – Match 15

2007-10-14T02:38:00.000+01:00

Not as easy as the summary makes it look. I’ve played Sri Lanka before, and they are very good bowlers, so when they won the toss and elected to bat, I knew we would have to work really hard to keep their score down, to give us any chance of scoring the necessary runs ourselves before they bowled us out.

Fortunately, you all played your part well, no catches were dropped, and they ended up only scoring a measly 17.

We managed to score the 18 runs needed – mainly due to a fine six from Jona – although we did lose a few wickets on the way. Sadly I’ve lost the photo of our score card – but Jona ended on 9 not out and Carol and Frangelita scored 4 each – the other run was a wide.

Next week we’re off to the USA.

WORLD TOUR – Match 14

2007-10-07T02:20:00.000+01:00

Pakistan won the toss, and elected to bat. Tom got a couple of early wickets, but they battled on more strongly in the middle order, and eventually put on 73 runs.

Having seen a lot of catches dropped in previous matches, we did have a long session of catching practice before this match. I also moved the field around a lot, putting Fran in at second slip – an inspired choice, it turned out, as her gymnastic ability was displayed to the full as she held three catches. Disappointingly, two were dropped deeper in the field, off my bowling – so once again, I had to resort to getting the bulk of my wickets by bowling men out.

Unfortunately I’ve lost the picture showing our bowling stats. The key figures are: 3 catches for Frangelita; Phil 1-17, Tom 4-14, RealDoc 1-12 and me 4-9.

Tea was, I’m told by the rest of you, very tasty. I had a splitting headache, and really didn’t want to bat.

Perhaps that was a premonition, as it turned out that their two opening bowlers were very, very fast. They tore through our opening batsmen, and it was only when the Doc and I came to the wicket that we managed to put in some solid defensive play, and just block and block (with the occasional swing at a loose ball). As an indication of how tough it was, only one boundary was scored in the whole of our team’s innings – a six which Medusa stole off a no ball.

Anyway, I managed to block them (for 66 balls in total) long enough for some slower bowlers to be brought on, from whom we finally managed to pinch a few runs. They very kindly gave us 33 runs in extras, which made a huge difference, and we just crept home, at 74-7.

Never mind, a win is a win.

Next week we’re off to Sri Lanka.

WORLD TOUR – Match 13

2007-09-30T07:42:00.000+01:00

We played Bangladesh, at full International level.

I’d realised, as we arrived in India, that I haven’t used Medusa in the team very much this tour, so I asked her to open the batting, as I suspected the playing conditions might suit her. I think the result justified my decision – she was our top scorer, with 31. Apart from a few starts higher up the order, which we unable to convert into a decent score, we suffered our usual middle-order collapse. A slight fight-back by the tail took us to a grand total of 127 – nowhere near good enough, we all felt.

Tea was a very subdued affair. I’m sorry, I have no idea what I ate. It was ashes in my mouth, as I sat there with my head in my hands – I couldn’t see how we could possible contain an international side to such a low score.

I hadn’t realised what a hard wicket we were playing on, until Tom thundered in, and with his first over dispatched three of their batsmen.

I knew, from having seen their bowlers, that the wicket was also taking spin, so I tried my hand.

Amazingly, Tom and I were all that was needed, as we ripped through them, with a five-fer each. All out for just 18 runs! We win!

Next week’s match, against Pakistan, will, I suspect, be considerably harder.

WORLD TOUR – Match 12

2007-09-23T07:29:00.000+01:00

A full international match against India.

They won the toss and elected to bat. Our defensive play was hindered by a terrible display in the field. In all, twelve catches were dropped. Seven of them came off my bowling – I was particularly annoyed by one over, in which I tempted them to hit the ball in the air – the first four flew straight to fielders, and were dropped; the next two flew over the boundary rope, and rather mucked-up my figures.

We all struggled in the heat, but nevertheless, six catches were finally held, and I polished off the tail (being fed-up at seeing so many dropped catches, I bowled them out). We were lucky, frankly, to get them out for as little as 175.

We enjoyed the many dishes we tasted for tea, although I fear some of you may have overdone things.

Our batting, frankly, in the last few weeks has been letting us down. One or two individuals may shine, but the majority surrender their wickets far too readily.

So they bowled us out for 67, and we lost another match.

Next week we play Bangladesh.

WORLD TOUR – Match 11

2007-09-16T07:45:00.000+01:00

We arrived in India somewhat subdued after last week’s defeat. Then several key players complained of upset tummies. I persuaded our hosts to delay the international match to next week, and play us at county level this week. With only four players indicating they felt up to batting a long innings, those of us who were still fit really had to stay at the crease as long as we could.

I felt I had no choice but to open the batting (well, it was my birthday) and I did my best to stay in. I’m sorry that I managed such a derisory score before being bowled, particularly as once Frangelita was out (magnificent 85 by the way – well done!) our tail collapsed – it was quite obvious that you felt more comfortable in the pavilion than outside. Fortunately our local player hadn’t been affected by the bug, so Mincat and Lisa managed to see out our 50 overs, and we posted a magnificent total of 411-9.

Most of you hardly touched the tea. I do hope our hosts weren’t offended.

Bowling was going to be a problem. Very few bowlers managed more than one over before having to hurry from the pitch, so short spells were all we could put together.

I bowled straight through my ten overs, being reasonably economical, and knocking-off another five wicket haul. The rest of you did what you could, and we eventually bowled them out for 159, and won.

Next week we shall be playing them at International level, and things will not be so smooth.

WORLD TOUR – Match 10

2007-09-09T07:33:00.000+01:00

Unlike last week, this was an International level match against New Zealand.

They won the toss, and decided to bat. The wicket was playing very oddly, and we managed to contain them to a mere 79 all out (with another five wicket haul for me – it could have been more, had not six catches been dropped off my bowling). Unfortunately I forgot to take a photo of our full bowling figures. The summary, however, shows that our three best bowlers were me (5-14), Tom (3-7) and Vicus (2-17).

Kiwi soup made an interesting variation at tea-time.

We felt reasonably confident, with a target of just 80 to win.

We soon found that confidence to be misplaced. They skittled us out. Three ducks, three players scoring just one run each, and my miserable 14 being the only double-figure score for our side.

We finished all out for 43, and so leave the Antipodes with a rather mixed record.

Our ship sails tonight for the Indian sub-continent.

WORLD TOUR – Match 9

2007-09-02T07:23:00.000+01:00

Having played such a tough series in Australia, I asked our hosts in New Zealand if we could play a county side, for a bit of relaxation. I am concerned that we never manage to bat through our entire allowance of 40 overs, so I did suggest that we try to play ourselves in this time, not go for wild and rash shots.

You may note I’ve been putting myself down the batting order recently, as my reflexes are a bit shot at the moment. Today I decided I’d try opening again – and was moderately successful.

We used up all our 40 overs (I had at least managed to stay in for the entire innings) scoring a magnificent 284-9.

Tea was another inspiring choice by our hosts. It’s amazing what you can do with a kiwi.

With such a decent target to play with, I let you all have one over to bowl, just in case any new stars appeared, and then I concentrated on our main bowlers, particularly giving them a chance to try out a few tricks, like reverse swing.

We skittled them out, eventually, for 75, and so we won – oh, and a hat trick with the last three balls of the match rather rounded off the game for me.

Next week we’ll play them at international level, which I suspect will be somewhat harder.

WORLD TOUR – Match 8

2007-08-26T07:29:00.000+01:00

Well, we won the toss, and I decided to bat. They really are a good side, and none of us managed to score freely, but we did manage to knock up a few more runs than last week, finishing all out for 97.

Tea was delightful. Cucumber sandwiches (with the edges cut off) and china cups of tea, followed by fairy cakes. I think our hosts were trying to make a special effort to make us feel at home.

I could see that keeping them, over a whole 40 overs, to below 98 was going to be a real problem - if our bowlers could contain them to just 2 runs an over, we’d win. 2½ runs, however, and we’d lose. I kept a very careful eye on the bowling figures (which you too can see at the foot of this post) and took bowlers off as soon as they started to become expensive.

Fortunately, most of you managed to stick to game-plan, although it was getting very tight towards the end – they had reached 89-4 with four overs still to be bowled, and the match looked lost. Vicus and I bowled three tight overs, however…

…and so we reached the last over of the match, with everything still in the balance. They needed just 4 runs to win. Rather than any of you having to take the blame for allowing them to beat us, I decided to bowl the over myself. 5 dot balls followed. I knew they’d go for a big hit on the last ball of the match – one boundary and they would win - so I set the field back a bit, spun the ball, and allowed it to drift slightly – just enough to catch an edge – the ball flew up…

…straight into Phil’s hands.

And straight out again. Still, they didn’t score a run, and so we won the match (and the 3 match mini-series) by 3 runs!!

And now we pop over to New Zealand, for the next leg of our world tour.

WORLD TOUR – Match 7

2007-08-19T07:28:00.001+01:00

Thrashed, is, I think a suitable word to describe this match.

Knowing we were playing the full Australian team at international level, I packed our team with batsmen, to ensure that we would at least get a few runs on the board.

We scored a magnificent 44 – and they kindly gave us an extra 10 in no-balls and wides. Most of our runs came off accidental nicks – their bowling was so fast that the tiniest edge sent the ball flying to the boundary, or (more often) into a fielder’s waiting hands.

Only as the match wore on did I manage to persuade some players to try blocking, or indeed leaving, and wait for an easier ball. As you will see, I (for instance) managed to last 40 balls before being out.

Tea was interesting. Kangaroo sandwiches. I’ll say no more.

It seemed unlikely that we would be able to defend such a low score. I tried out most bowling styles, to see which was having most effect. Spin bowling seemed to be the best option – we were at least beating the bat occasionally, and being reasonably economic. Sadly, in the end, nothing we could do was enough, and with the only smile being raised by my heavily flighted ball drifting very slightly (a new trick, I’ve just learned) and managing to fool an opener into playing outside the line (Richard kindly took this photo of the moment) they cantered past our score.

So, the series stands at 1-1, with the final match being played next week. It will be another international level game, so stand by for a similar result, unless our batsmen spend a lot of time in the nets this week.

WORLD TOUR – Match 6

2007-08-12T06:54:00.001+01:00

The first of a three-match series against Australia. This was against a sub-strength team (i.e. we played them at county standard) – the next two will be harder (i.e. full international).

I won the toss and decided to bat. I knew their bowling and fielding would be tough, so Richard and I tried to stay in for as long as we could, without worrying too much about the runs. Sadly, after we were out, the usual collapse followed, only Fran and Medusa getting into double figures.

We ended up with a very modest 101 all out.

Tea was a very pleasant barbie (is that how Australians spell it?).

I was very conscious that the Australians might well bat within themselves, and then, as they would probably have plenty of wickets in hand, go for a real slog at the end; playing a hunch I decided to reserve spin for the end, in the hope that this might surprise and contain them.

Tom did his usual trick of getting a caught and bowled in the first over; thereafter they played more defensively, as I had predicted, with their numbers 2 and 3 between them facing 16 overs before Tom and Doc managed to winkle them out.

Vicus and Mincat bowled reasonably tightly, before Phil and I came on to bowl the last 11 overs (yes, I’d miscounted, so didn’t get my full potential spell of 6 overs). Phil played his part, only costing us 16 runs from his 6 overs, but it was, I have to admit, my bowling which really frustrated them – two runs came off the first over, and then I bowled four maiden overs.

Their annoyance showed towards the end, when they tried to hit me out of the ground, and four of them fell to my crafty slower balls. I was particularly pleased with the wicket of Shane Worde, probably the best spin bowler in the world, who was himself deceived by my spin, out for a duck on his second ball.

In the end we restricted them to just 46-8, and so we won.

We go one up in the three match mini-series. Having three matches, I will be able to ensure that every player in the squad gets at least one game against Australia.

Next week will be harder.

WORLD TOUR – Match 5

2007-08-05T06:49:00.000+01:00

Our final match in Africa was against Namibia.

This international level cricket is tough. We won the toss and batted, and saw Richard bowled first ball. I’m sorry Richard, but I’m not sure the experiment of an opening-bat-wicket-keeper has paid off. We’ll give it one more try next week, but if you don’t get at least a half-century, I think we’ll have to consider a move to no. 7.

Mind you, the rest of us did little better, on a very interesting wicket. With Lisa and Steg also bowled for ducks, we had scored an impressive total of just 2 runs for the loss of 3 wickets when I arrived at the crease.

A couple of quick boundaries from me soon multiplied our total by 5, before my wicket too fell.

Fran and Doc made a bit of a stand (10 whole runs) but when Doc’s wicket fell we were standing at a dismal 20-6.

Phil managed to hit the ball twice – but both times the ball ran to the boundary (his 8 runs made him, with me, our top scorers).

We were all out for 35, which seemed an impossibly low target to defend.

Tea was very pleasant. ILTV had brought us some pastries back from France. Vicus seemed quite disappointed to discover the French tarts he’d been promised were in fact filled with apricot.

The wicket had been taking spin quite well, and I thought that we could perhaps stop them scoring too fast by using our slower bowlers, so I decided to open with Phil and myself for the first spell, and review the situation after that.

The wicket did indeed suit my style of bowling, something the Namibians had clearly never met before. At the end of our spell their score stood at a mere 23 runs, but more importantly, they had also lost 8 wickets.

Three of Fran’s slow balls polished-off the tail, and they were all out for 23, and so we won again.

So it’s off to Australasia, for the next leg of our tour.

WORLD TOUR – Match 4

2007-07-29T07:26:00.000+01:00

So, a visit to South Africa.

I should explain that, in this version of this game, each bowler can only bowl a maximum of 20% of the total overs in a match – so we always need at least 5 bowlers. Realdoc and I are both all-rounders, but for safety’s sake I usually pick four specialist bowlers too.

However, this time I ran the risk of only picking three, so that two people who didn’t play last time, who are both classed as batspersons, could have a game – and to give us a bit of strength-in-depth on the batting front. For some reason I put Lisa (a batswoman) down at no. 11, where one of our bowlers would normally play – I thought we might need her if we collapsed.

They won the toss, and decided to bat. Tom made a breakthrough fairly early on, after only five runs had been scored. The next pair, however, proved almost impossible to get out. Every bowler we had tried, and failed. I gave Ivy 4 overs, as she’d been complaining of being under-used, but she was no more successful than anyone else.

Eventually I reluctantly decided that I’d have to bowl myself - and two of you dropped catches off my tempting slower off-break. I won’t name names, we’ve all done it. You know who you are. Anyway, it’s your birthday.

Finally, after 105 runs had been scored, I felt I had to lead from the front, and I held a catch off Vicus’ bowling.

We had now reached the stage where their 30 overs were nearly up, and as a result they were slogging the ball all over the place; I decided to keep myself on, and allow them to muck my figures up, rather than embarrass too many of you; finally Ivy held a catch off my bowling, and then in the final over Vicus returned the complement and held another catch. They scored 138-4 off their 30 overs – not an unreasonable target for us to chase, I felt.

Tea was rather sumptuous; ostrich-egg-and-cress sandwiches feature, I recall. Oh, and a special birthday cake for Phil, of course. He seemed to eat most of it.

I was concerned at my own batting ability against their attack. I’ve never been very good against fast bowling (I don’t have the reactions nowadays) and the game faithfully reflects that – you international players are given greater reaction times by the computer. As a result, I decided to drop myself down the order.

As it happens, that decision didn’t help me much, as our openers were skittled out very quickly, and I had to come in, with the score only having reached 15-2. I did my best to stay in, and pushed the score on a bit, but once I was out there was a general collapse, our Vice-Captain being the only other player to reach double figures.

We were on 72-9 – only about halfway to our target – when our final pair (Tom and Lisa) came together. Tom has, in previous tour matches, been out very quickly, but I begged him to block, and stay in, allowing Lisa, who is a recognised batsman, to score.

We were very lucky. They bowled a number of no-balls, which Tom was quick to spot, hitting three of them for 6’s. Bearing those 18 runs in mind, one can see that he did indeed block (or, to be honest, simply miss) a lot of balls – given that he faced in total 40 balls for his score of 24.

Gradually we crept closer to their score – but knowing that one more wicket, and we would be all out. It was very exciting, I can tell you.

When Lisa knocked the ball past the waiting fielder and made the winning run, I punched the air and cheered. We scored 139-9 and won.

World Tour, Match Three

2007-07-22T07:22:00.000+01:00

We played Zimbabwe. I would rather not have done, but we were contractually obliged to, as part of our tour of Africa.

I won the toss, and decided to bat. Their bowling attack was, frankly, weak, and Richard and I made hay while the sun shone, knocking up over a hundred runs before Richard, just short of his half-century, skied a ball, to be caught.

Jona joined me in the runfest, getting herself out only after having seen me score my century. Sadly, a few balls latter I dollied a catch back to the bowler.

The rest of you continued to strike the ball to every part of the field, with Steg getting a half century.

We were all out, as you will see, for a magnificent total of 339.

We brought our own sandwiches for tea.

In a replay of last week’s match, Tom and Realdoc got the opener’s wickets in their first overs.

This was followed by an heroic display of line and length from Phil, who bowled maiden over after maiden over, whilst the rest of our bowlers tried their best to winkle the opposition out.

Eventually they folded, having got nowhere near our total.

Well done all. The man-of-the-match award is detailed over at my blog.

We have, I suspect, more serious opposition to come.

World Tour, Match Two

2007-07-15T07:48:00.000+01:00

There is an apology for my bowling performance, over at my blog.

Our floating clubhouse has arrived in Africa, for the first of several matches. This match was against Kenya, who won the toss, and decided to bat.

In their first overs, Tom and Realdoc got both the openers out for ducks. With their main batting threat removed, I decided to allow every member of the team (apart from Richard, our keeper, obviously) a bowl – partly to find out if there’s some hidden talent amongst you.

There isn’t.

I returned to our main bowlers, and eventually a breakthrough came when Phil and I took our turn. The Kenyans had obviously never come up against my style of slow off-breaks, and time after time they played early, or over the ball. In one over, four wickets fell in four successive balls (my first ever hat-trick).

Tea was interesting.

Richard, sadly, was run out, going to a quick single. Steg and I knocked off the winning runs.

World Tour, Match One

2007-07-07T17:26:00.000+01:00

As they’re in this country, and had time on their hands in the evening, the first match in our world tour was against the West Indies.

We played them in a limited over match – 30 overs a side.

I won the toss, and decided to bat.

Richard and I made a good start, and I was just looking forward to reaching my half-century when I lazily lobbed the ball straight back to the bowler.

The rest of you played very well, and aggressively, with plenty of 6’s being hit. Hitting the ball in the air did, unfortunately, also give plenty of catches. Some of our older players misjudged their running ability, and caused run-outs. Nevertheless, I was very satisfied with our score of 218-10.

Although ILTV still keeps the score in the book, Ziggi now has an electronic score-board to display the results, and as the match was also televised, I took photos from the TV, rather than the book. Here’s our score-card then (the white figures are the runs each batsperson scored, the yellow is how many balls it took to reach that score – some of you, you will note, scored quite quickly). Oh, and the computer needed a first and last name for each of you – where I don’t know it, I’ve put ‘Blogger’ as your first name – hence ‘B. Tom’ appears, for instance.

The object, in limited overs cricket, is not to bowl the opposition out, just stop them scoring more than you, so economy, rather than aggression, was our watchword.

I let the rest of you bowl before me (partly because their openers were both lefthanders, and I don’t like bowling to them [I have to bowl around the wicket]). Eventually, though, I did have to take my turn – and got two lefties out (both of them, as it happens, players with of some repute).

The rest of you held things together very well (although a lot of catches were dropped – three of them, annoyingly, off my bowling). They finished on 157-5 at the end of their 30 overs – so we won by 61 runs.

Their batting and our bowling figures follow.

Saturday 16th June 2007.

2007-06-17T06:45:00.000+01:00

I have to say, I’m a bit cheesed off. I don’t think the team played to its full potential, and some of you were, frankly, just messing around. To be fair, I hadn’t picked the strongest team (on paper at least) this time, as I wanted to give the three players I dropped last week a chance. Even so, I think many minds were on the end-of-season party, rather than the match.

I will think long and hard about this, before deciding how many of you I allow to join our world tour, which starts in July. I point no fingers, but I am sure some sore heads this morning will tell their own story.

This was the last match of the league season, and we really needed to win it. That became apparent when, in a series of ’phone calls before play started, I discovered that every other game in our division had been abandoned, before a ball was bowled, because the pitches were waterlogged. This means that each team received 15 points, putting the current leaders, Touch and Go on 274. If we won this match, the 20 points we receive would put us on 275 points – and so we would win the title by one point.

Fortunately, the care and attention paid by our groundpserson had paid off, and our wicket was eminently playable, in between the showers.

I lost the toss, and we were put in to bat. You may recall my request for maximum effort, and my hope that we would score over 300 runs, to daunt the opposition. I also decided to put my money where my mouth was, lead from the front and open the batting myself, with Jona. We started off briskly enough, but sadly Jona was given out LBW when the score was only 21-1.

Richard and I got stuck in, and put us back on track, with a half-century for me, and our score moving beyond the hundred mark, before Richard too fell LBW: 101-2.

Sadly, only a few balls later I was caught behind: 104-3.

Our vice-captain took over the scoring, knocking-off a quick twenty, before she was bowled: 139-4.

Realdoc had been pestering me for the last fortnight with stories of her batting prowess, so I moved her up the order to no. 6. She rather let herself down, being caught in the slips soon after going in: 143-5.

Lisa stayed in slightly longer, before lobbing a gentle catch to silly mid on: 155-6.

Steg, who had been slowly building an innings, now made a rash swing, mistimed and was caught and bowled: 180-7.

Carol was caught behind: 192-8.

This left our fast bowlers, who have previously both opened, and from whom I expected a steady and responsible innings. Tom repaid my confidence by going at the bowling like a bull at a china shop, and duly sliced the ball to the slips: 192-9.

We were depending on Ivy and Vicus to at least push the score over 200, but sadly even that hope was dashed when Ivy was given out LBW: 196-10.

Tea seemed quite a lively affair, even though it tasted like ashes in my mouth. I suspect some of you had got at the punch which Ziggi brought.

Tom and I opened the attack, with our mixture of pace and guile; it wasn’t until his fourth over that Tom made the first breakthrough, a nick being held by Richard: 13-1.

Tom’s next ball took the middle stump out of the ground: 13-2.

In his 8^th over (just before the change to our second pair) Tom got a third wicket, again clean bowled: 31-3.

Vicus and Realdoc did nothing in their spell, so we turned to Steg and Ivy. Steg succeeded in getting an edge to carry to the slips, where a very surprised Lisa held onto the catch: 84-4.

With the score moving well beyond 100, I returned to our openers, Tom achieving another edge to the slips, held this time by Realdoc: 127-5.

Tom got his five-fer (his best-ever bowling performance, incidentally) with another nick, held by Richard: 149-6.

Our second pair achieved a wicket at last, when Realdoc’s spin ball finally moved enough to dislodge the bails; 173-7.

They needed 24 runs to win, we needed to get three more wickets.

In a last desperate attempt to get those wickets, I asked Tom and Steg, our most aggressive pair, to have a go. Finally, with the scores tied (and the league title thus lost to us) Steg bowled his man: 196-8.

The next ball went for 4, and the match was lost.

Match details, and the final league table, are shown below. As you will see, we finished a creditable third.

Creditable, that is, if you don’t think winning is important.

Thanks for those who organised the party, band, barbeque etc after the match. Sorry if I sat in the corner for most of the evening, looking a bit pensive.

Saturday 9th June 2007

2007-06-09T21:16:00.000+01:00

Well, for a change I won the toss. You will remember that the last time we played this team, they scored over 400 runs, which rather demoralised us, so I decided that we would bat first.

This was a crucial match, so I had spent some time with the average charts, and picked what on paper was our strongest team. Richard and Jona opened the batting, but never looked comfortable on a wicket which was allowing the ball to seam wildly, Richard, ironically, was caught by the keeper from one of the few straighter balls: 22-1.

Jona went soon after, also caught by the keeper: 26-2.

The ball kept moving around, and inevitably MinCat edged it to the slips: 29-3.

Steg and I managed a short revival, before he was given out LBW: 71-4.

Our Vice-Captain came in to join her Captain, edged her first ball to the slips, and returned to the pavilion: 71-5.

Medusa lasted a few overs before edging to the keeper: 77-6.

Phil and I pushed our score on over the 100 mark, before he was bowled: 118-7

Realdoc came in, determined to show that her long hours in the nets have been worthwhile. Unfortunately, she lasted only short seconds at the crease, being bowled first ball: 118-8.

Tom and I made a brief but productive stand, before he edged a catch to slips: 144-9.

Only Vicus and I were left to push the score up to something respectable. Vicus did his best, before he too edged a catch – to the keeper this time: 171-10.

Not a good score. There were some glum faces over tea.

I warned players that I would be rotating the bowling regularly, particularly if any bowler became expensive. Tom assured me that he was raring to go after his rest last week, so I allowed him to open – and with his first ball a catch flew hard and fast to me in Gulley: 0-1.

In his third over, Tom clean bowled the next man in: 4-2.

In the next over, I took a caught and bowled: 9-3.

Two balls later, I clean bowled my man: 10-4.

It really looked as if we were going to walk this match.

Sadly, the opposition had been saving their two best batsmen. We just could not dislodge them. I tried eight bowlers, but none of us could break through. Finally, after both batsmen had got half-centuries, Medusa bowled one of them: 136-5.

Heads were down, not helped by Richard dropping a catch off my bowling.

Fortunately Frangelita made an amazing dive to catch a low chance off my next over: 152-6.

We could not dislodge the next men in, sadly, and they raced past our score, finishing on 174-6.

The 20 points they get for the win take them back on top of the league. The six points we got for their six wickets just keep us in second place. As you can see from the league table, any one of five teams can win the league, after the final match next week.

Saturday 2nd June 2007

2007-06-03T07:05:00.001+01:00

I’m afraid I lost the toss again, and Imodium Wanderers captain elected to bat. One could see immediately why they are third in the league – they have a very strong-looking side. It was very hot in the field, so I decided to use the same tactic as last week – each bowler only having four-over spells.

I had decided earlier in the week that Tom needed a rest, to sharpen up his action, so our opening pair were Vicus and Steg; second up were our slower bowlers, Realdoc and me; our third pair were Medusa and Phil.

Our openers started sharply enough, and we were encouraged when Vicus bowled a man when the score was only: 11-1.

After that, though, we really struggled, with none of our bowlers managing to achieve a breakthrough. We were well into our second spell of bowling, and had seen the total fly over 100, before I managed to make the player sweep the ball straight into the hands of Frangelita at Square Leg: 106-2.

The next man in, unfortunately, was equally strong, and the score moved on apace; I seriously felt that we would be facing a target of something like 400. Fortunately in his third spell Vicus managed to top-edge the batsman to Gulley, where I held on to the ball: 169-3.

On the next change of bowlers I managed to get an edge to MinCat in the slips: 177-4

When Medusa came on to bowl, she managed to get a catch to Frangelita at square leg: 215-5.

Steg clean bowled his man: 228-6.

Realdoc achieved an LBW: 252-7.

In the next over I bowled my man: 253-8

Frangelita held another catch at Square leg, off Realdoc’s bowling: 261-9.

Realdoc finished off the innings (again) as Frangelita took her fourth catch: 263-10.

Tea was impressive. What more can I say? Unfortunately our score-board monitor had eaten most of the fudge cake before the players got there, but otherwise, a lovely meal.

Vicus whispered to me that his old waterworks problem was playing him up again. I promised to be discrete about it, but it seemed unlikely that he would be able to bat.

With Vicus dropped to no. 11, and Tom not playing, we needed a new opening pair. Richard and Jona admirably filled the gap. Richard set off aggressively, but unfortunately was LBW when the score had reached just 29-1.

I was clean bowled before I had time to get my eye in: 35-2.

This was not the start we needed if we were to get anywhere near their score. Fortunately our batting line-up runs quite deep, and it needed to, after MinCat was out LBW when the score had reached: 73-3.

Jona, after an impressive start, was out caught, scooping the ball up to Square Leg: 80-4.

A brilliant stand of 99 brought some cheer into our drooping hearts, only ending when Steg was caught behind, trying to loft a ball for 6, to get his 50: 179-5.

Medusa laid into the bowling, scoring fours off three successive balls as she cruised past her half-century; sadly her attempt at a fourth saw her clean bowled: 191-6,

Ivy edged a catch to the keeper: 228-7.

35 runs needed, but with Vicus unable to bat we only had two more wickets left.

Our Vice-captain and Phil made a spirited attempt to win the match, ending when Frangelita was bowled: 260-8.

4 runs required. Our last pair, Phil and Realdoc at the crease.

3 runs made, leaving Phil puffing and panting. Realdoc then demonstrates that the time she has spent in the nets has not been wasted, striking the shot of the day – a brilliant cover drive for 4. WE WIN!!!

And as the league table shows, Touch and Go lost their match, and so we move up to head the league, with just two matches to play.

Saturday 26th May 2007

2007-05-27T07:43:00.000+01:00

We visited Daisy Cutters pretty little ground yesterday. I lost the toss, and we were put in to bat on a very green wicket.

I am concerned that we have been over-using Tom and Vicus, asking them to open both the batting and the bowling, so I asked Richard to open the batting today.

Tom was clean bowled in the second over (obviously intending to save his energy for bowling): 1-1.

Richard was our next man out: 23-2.

Vicus and I pushed the score on a bit, before I was caught behind: 66-3.

Vicus had the bit between his teeth now, and was slogging boundaries all around the field, before being bowled: 116-4.

Mincat was in sparkling form, and she and Steg made a nice stand of 51, before Steg was caught: 167-5.

Mincat had hardly finished celebrating her first-ever half-century before Jona was given out LBW: 171-6.

Mincat was clearly a bit excited about her batting, as she set off for a quick run, causing our Vice-Captain, Frangelita, to be run-out: 171-7.

Another duck followed as Realdoc was caught in the slips: 172-8.

If we were to reach a respectable score, Mincat would have to do something sensible – so she hit a six. Ivy responded too, and stopped the flow of ducks, before being caught behind: 220-9.

Sadly, Lisa was caught off the next ball, and we finished on a disappointing 220-10, with Mincat not out on 83 (her previous best was 34).

Tea was very nice, although the cakes weren’t a patch on the ones our ladies make. Vicus said the vegetarian sausage rolls weren’t much cop either.

With such a small total to defend, I decided that each bowler would bowl short spells, of no more than four overs. With two of last week’s bowlers rested today, I paired our bowlers as follows:

Openers: Tom and Vicus.

2^nd pair (spin): Realdoc and me.

3^rdpair: Steg and Ivy.

Steg did not manage to impress in the field, unlike last week, dropping a catch off Tom’s first spell.

With 31 runs on the board off the first 8 overs, I moved, as planned, to our second pair, and made a breakthrough in my second over, winning an LBW appeal: 43-1.

In his first spell, Steg showed that he has an interesting slow-medium action, bamboozling the batsman, who he clean-bowled: 68-2.

Back to the openers, and Tom achieved a caught and bowled: 77-3

Vicus got an LBW: 81-4.

Our spinners did nothing in their second spell, but Steg got his second wicket for BMCC with an edge to slips (great catch, Frangelita!): 139-5.

2 overs later and Steg achieved another edge, this time to Vicus in the slips: 147-6.

Our openers looked eager to break the tail, Vicus bowling his man: 152-7.

Tom achieved a thin edge, which Richard held: 153-8.

I drew the batsman into playing at a ball moving away from him, spooned up to Ivy at third man: 173-9.

Realdoc took the final, match-winning wicket, the ball flying into my waiting hands at gulley: 177-10.

Score sheet (much neater this time!) and league table are below. We are still in second place, but are catching up with the leaders:

Saturday 19th May 2007

2007-05-20T07:42:00.001+01:00

The first match of the resumed season saw us at home, on a lovely sunny day, to Sporting Broads CC. We haven’t played them before, as our match earlier in the season was abandoned due to rain (quite literally, for anyone who can remember back to last August – it was the match immediately following my flood, which was even reported in the Eastern Daily Press as being abandoned due to a waterlogged pitch).

The wicket was looking good (thanks to our new groundsperson), the sun was shining, and all looked set for a great day’s play. With so many people in our squad, I had to rest three players (two of them were away on holiday, and one couldn’t get a flight over from New York anyway). The rest though, turned up, pink-faced, ready and eager. ILTV had a new set of freshly-sharpened pencils, and Ziggi stood by the scoreboard looking alluring.

We lost the toss, and the opposition decided to bat. Tom opened the bowling for us, steamed in hard and aggressively – and his first ball took an edge, giving our new player, Steg, quite a shock as the ball flew to him in the slips. Fortunately he was able to hold on to it – and instantly we had them at 0-1

When we moved to our second pair of bowlers, they tried to take a quick single off my bowling, but Frangelita made a brilliant athletic stop, threw the ball in fast and got a well-deserved run-out: 45-2.

Our third pairing made another breakthrough, when Carol held a catch off Phil’s bowling: 76-3.

We returned to our openers, and Tom immediately dropped a caught and bowled chance. Two overs later, though, Richard held his catch: 103-4.

Back to our second pair, and I held a catch in my favourite position (gulley) off Medusa’s bowling: 119-5.

The next over Phil dropped a catch off my bowling. Never mind, for two overs later Frangelita showed him how to do it: 132-6

Several changes of bowling couldn’t achieve another breakthrough, and the score was now up to 197. I tried something completely different – an all-spin attack, with myself and Realdoc. I clean-bowled a batsman with my first over: 200-7.

Two overs later I got another clean-bowled: 207-8.

Realdoc cleaned up – a clean-bowled: 208-9, and a caught and bowled: 209-10.

Tea was memorable, with Cromer crab sandwiches (care of your captain), some excellent cakes proved by the ladies, and a delicious-looking vegetarian dish that Vicus brought with him.

Our innings started briskly, before Vicus was caught in the slips: 30-1.

Tom fell next, also edging to the slips: 68-2.

Jona and I had a stand of over 50, before she was caught by the keeper: 130-3.

Medusa and I enjoyed another fifty stand (which included my half-century) before she was caught and bowled; 180-4.

Richard and I saw the match to a conclusion, Richard scoring the winning runs with a magnificent 6: 211-4.

We won!!

Score card and league table are shown below.

The Finnish Tour. Day Four.

2006-12-30T08:05:00.000Z

So, we came into the final day needing to take seven more wickets, and then score whatever target they had set us.

The Tom/Frangelita combination was again successful (I can’t describe Fran’s athletic display, you had to be there to see it) as their opening batsman (who was on 98 by this time) fell: 167-4.

I managed to bowl their next batsman: 183-5.

Realdoc achieved an LBW: 260-6.

At this point, snow stopped play for 38 minutes, and we took an early lunch (Lincolnshire sausage [my favourite] sandwiches, supplied by one of our travelling spectators).

Frangelita may have eaten too many sandwiches, for (amazingly) she dropped a catch off Phil’s bowling straight after lunch.

Fortunately, Richard managed to do his job, taking a clean catch off my leg-spin ball: 290-7

Two overs later I took the new ball, and achieved an edge to Jona in the slips: 309-8

Realdoc’s googly clean-bowled a bamboozled batsman: 311-9.

With her next ball, she finished their innings, a catch being held by Medusa in the slips; 311-10.

We needed, therefore, to score 197, in the 28 minutes before tea, and then the final session of the day. Not impossible, but we would need to score quickly. Richard said he was tired, so I juggled the order a bit, to give us a chance at a slog, but with a respectable tail, should we collapse and need to play for a draw.

Vicus was bowled early on in our reply: 21-1.

Tea came when the score had reached 36-1. Pammy’s flight arrived from the USA just in time for her to join us at this point. She and Tom went for quick word of encouragement behind the changing rooms, before he went out to bat.

Still needing 163 to win, I instructed our players to be as aggressive as they liked in the final session.

Jona was out LBW as the score reached 64-2.

Tom was scoring very freely, so I fed him the strike as much as possible, before edging a catch to the slips: 113-3.

Sadly, Carol was bowled first ball; 113-4.

Tom was caught going for a big shot: 127-5.

71 runs needed to win, and just 59 minutes left on the clock.

I told Phil that he would have to abandon his normal elegant style, and go for a slog, which he did with gusto, putting all his weight behind the bat. Strangely, he wasn’t out immediately, Medusa’s being the next wicket to fall, caught in the slips: 144-6.

Realdoc was out in the same way: 159-7.

39 runs needed to win, three wickets in hand, and just 15 minutes left in which to win, lose or draw the match (and all three results still possible).

Phil was finally bowled, trying to hit a six: 186-8.

12 to win. Five minutes and just 2 wickets left.

When Richard was bowled with the score still on 188-9, you could cut the atmosphere in the ground with a knife (yes, freezing fog had descended).

We needed just 10 runs to win the match, but had only two minutes in which to score them, before the match was scheduled to end – but all they needed to do was to claim our last wicket, and they would win.

At this moment, Cherrypie decided it would be a good idea to streak across the pitch. Had she done so, our time would have gone, and the match would have ended in a draw.

I had a split second to decide – let her, or allow the game to reach a natural conclusion.

Cliff hanger on top of cliff-hanger.

Of course, I did the gentlemanly thing…

…I hit her on the head with an empty vodka bottle that happened to be lying there.

At that very moment, on the pitch, the final over started, with two balls which Frangelita could only block. However, the third ball was cut perfectly for four. She edged the next ball, and she and Ivy ran a quick two. Two balls left in the entire match, and four runs still needed. The bowler runs in…

…and young Fran drives it cleanly back, all the way to the boundary.

We win!!

Hurrah for us!!!

The Finnish Tour. Day Three.

2006-12-29T07:50:00.000Z

After a solid breakfast, Richard and I strode out to the crease. Sadly I didn’t stay there very long, being clean bowled: 114-4.

Carol and Richard now decided to take the Finns on, driving and cutting in an amazing fashion, with sixes raining down on all parts of the ground. When Carol was finally bowled, we were only two runs short of a first inning’s lead: 183-5.

Frangelita was dropped off the first ball she faced. She then took us past the two hundred mark with a series of fours. At lunch we stood at a respectable 225-5.

Lunch was reindeer sandwiches (again) and turkey soup (again).

Richard’s 50 came up in the first over after lunch.

Frangelita was bowled as the score rose to 238-6.

Richard got stuck in the nervous nineties, and was then bowled, having reached a personal best of 93: 299-7.

At this point, with a lead of 114, I decided to declare.

I rather hoped that we would make a breakthrough before tea, but their openers turned out to be more dogged this time (although one of them did spend a little while curled up on the ground, after I hit him in the box). At tea they were on 65-0.

Nothing embarrassing happened during the tea interval, probably because I had given Ziggi and Cherrypie permission to leave the ground and go on a tour of the bars of Espoo (they have already sampled, and been barred from those of Helsinki).

After tea, Tom made the first breakthrough, Frangelita performing a forward roll, handspring and double pike as she moved from Square Leg to catch the ball: 76-1.

I held on to a nick from Tom’s fastest ball of the day: 92-2.

Phil and Carol were knocked all over the ground in their short spell, but our spinners were more effective, Vicus clean bowling his man on: 143-3.

No more wickets fell, and they ended the day on 163-3 – a lead of just 49.

Our batting figures (sadly, an up-to-date bowling analysis wasn’t ready as I went to print) are shown below:

The Finnish Tour. Day Two.

2006-12-28T07:37:00.000Z

For the benefit of those who don’t know (or can’t remember) let me just explain that I play this game on my computer, inserting the names of the various bloggers who (quite literally) make up the team. I then report, entirely faithfully, exactly what went on – I have not added to, or taken away from anyone’s scores (mine, for instance, are well below par – perhaps it’s the cold weather). Even the cliff-hanging ending on the final day really happened – but you will have to wait until Saturday to read that.

So, then, on to the match:

We have too many players in the squad now, so as I looked around the hung-over faces in the dressing room, I knew that sadly a pair of them would fall, as I had to tell two of our players that they would be in reserve for this match.

I then marched onto the pitch, lost the toss, and was told that the Finnish team had elected to bat.

Tom and I opened the bowling.

The first wicket fell when Frangelita did a back-flip, and caught the ball one-handed off my bowling: 10-1.

The first change of bowling brought our spinners on, both Vicus and Realdoc managing to make the ball turn, despite the hardness of the wicket (it was completely frozen). Eventually an edge flew from Vicus’ bowling straight into the gloves of Richard (our keeper): 32-2.

The third pair of bowlers used in this match were that pair of old workhorses, Phil and Carol. They plodded in, without success, so I returned to our openers, immediately striking as my slower ball caught an edge, and flew to Ivy in the slips: 82-3.

Two overs later, an identical ball shot into Jona’s hands, and amazingly stayed there: 86-4.

At lunch, with the score on 93-4, we felt we’d done a good morning’s work.

They came out with a little more determination after the break, and pushed the score on, until Vicus achieved an LBW: 138-5.

Vicus broke through again when an edge went straight to Phil, dozing in the slips: 147-6.

The next over saw Realdoc taking her first wicket for BMCC, when she made the ball move a foot off the wicket, and clean bowled her opponent: 149-7.

Our third pairing finally got some reward for their labours, when one of Phil’s balls was edged to Medusa: 180-8.

In the gulley, I held on to a ball driven off Carol’s bowling: 185-9.

I rounded off their first innings with a ball edged to Richard; 185-10.

We came off the pitch, congratulating ourselves on a job well done.

Our openers were going to have a nervous few overs to face before tea, so I asked them to be cautious. Tom clearly heard every word I said, hitting the first ball for six. Fortunately, no wickets fell, and we came in for tea at 12-0.

There was a little awkwardness in the tea pavilion, as the players watched one of our supporters being led from the ground by the stewards. Apparently Cherrypie had drunk a little too much vodka, and her merry vocal renditions of rugby songs were embarrassing nearby spectators. I will have a word with her later.

After tea, Tom’s was the first wicket to fall: 46-1.

Vicus was caught at Long Off, trying to match Tom’s six: 73-2

Jona was clean bowled: 90-3.

Richard and I, though, held up any further collapse, and were still there at the close of play: 102-3.

Our new scorer, who likes the view, loved the set of pencils that we’d all clubbed together to buy her for Christmas, and has prepared this summary score-sheet, showing the current position of play.

The Finnish Tour. Day One.

2006-12-27T08:25:00.000Z

Well, the first surprise we got when we arrived here was that the Finnish National Cricket Team were expecting to play a three-day match, rather than the usual one-day slog to which we are used. Fortunately, most of the team (and the supporters too, come to that) seem to have let themselves go over the autumn, and have sufficient layers of subcutaneous fat to see them through three days outdoors in Finland.

The second surprise was the light level. Isn’t it dark here? Finland only gets half an hour of sunlight in the whole month of December, you know. We knew that we’d have to play the match under floodlights - I just wasn’t aware that they would be giant sunlamps. Anyway, it’s clearing up my SAD nicely, thanks.

The third surprise came when we started to unload the tins of Quality Street that Carol had brought to nibble on during breaks. Phil had eaten the lot before he got off the coach.

Fortunately, our band of supporters have brought along plenty of turkey sandwiches, and lots of mince pies, so it seems that we will have enough calories to survive.

The fourth (and I trust final) surprise came when we were told that the match doesn’t actually start on Boxing Day, but will in fact be played from mid-morning today.

Yesterday was not a waste of time, however, as Taiga the Fox had made arrangements for us to sample the highlights of Finnish culture.

Vicus particularly seemed to enjoy the fish-slapping contest.

Sadly, we missed Sleepyhead Day, where the laziest person in the towns of Naantali and Hanko is thrown into the sea (I think we all know who would be the contender for the title in our team, don’t we?) and the annual wife-carrying championship held every July in Sonkajärvi.

I’m not sure that the rest of the team can remember much of what followed, as it appears that most of Finland’s ancient customs and cultural highlights involve drinking large quantities of alcohol. Our most recent (medical) recruit to the team particularly embarrassed herself. However, if the team over-indulged, they were nothing to our travelling band of supporters. I will leave it you your own imaginations to picture Ziggi and Cherrypie singing to a karaoke machine, and a room-full of their new (imaginary) best friends, at 4 am.

Your tee-total captain, however, kept a clear head, and was up with the lark this morning (actually, the lark itself failed to put in an appearance) and ate a hearty breakfast of piimä with musesli, purro with ligonberry jam and some tasty reindeer sandwiches.

As I write this, I am still waiting for the rest of the team to appear from their tents (I am sorry that Taiga only had one spare bed in the house for me, but I’m sure the others will enjoy the bracing country air).

Assuming that they do, I shall post a report of the first day’s play in the match tomorrow.

2006-10-02T07:42:00.000+01:00

Batting and bowling averages for the 2006 season, up to end of September. The season has now closed until the spring.

Saturday 30th Septmber 2006

2006-10-01T06:52:00.000+01:00

Yesterday we played Marsh Marigolds, who were in second place in the league – so a win was important. The ground was quite wet, but playable (others weren’t so lucky – only one other match was played in our division).

I won the toss, and elected to bat. I had decided that Tom needed a rest, so juggled the batting order once again. Most players did OK, and we finished on a satisfactory 323 all out.

Medusa was our star bowler, taking seven wickets (finishing the opposition off by taking two wickets with her last two balls). We bowled them out for 227, so won by 96 runs.

This has moved us up to second place, as the league table shows.

I have also worked out each player’s averages, but will put them up tomorrow.

Saturday 23rd September 2006

2006-09-24T07:48:00.000+01:00

Bowl Movement CC v Norfolk Dumplings CC.

I won the toss, and decided we’d bowl first, on a damp (but drying) wicket. I used seven bowlers, three of whom (Tom, Medusa and Phil) produced their best bowling figures of the season. My figures would look better if Richard hadn’t dropped two catches. They finished on 374-10.

Interesting tea (Carol, who’s away on birthday holiday, sent us the haggis; Ziggi made the cream cakes; Phil ate the pies).

We had a middle-order batting collapse, and at 149-6 looked to have lost the match. However, a seventh-wicket stand by Medusa and your captain doubled our score, and as Phil then managed to be not out at the end we won by one wicket: 375-9.

Personal bests with the bat by Medusa (79) and me – my first-ever century (136 not out).

In view of her performance with both bat and ball, I made Medusa (honorary) man of the match.

Results by other teams mean that we move up to fourth in the table, and are now only ten points behind the second-placed team.

Saturday 16th September 2006

2006-09-17T07:53:00.000+01:00

I won the toss; feeling that we probably stood a chance with the bat, I put us in. I’d revised the order to put our strongest recent line-up at the top, and rather hoped we might match the 400 we scored last week.

Vicus was the first wicket to fall, with the score on just 21. He came off holding his stomach, muttering about something he’d eaten. I can’t imagine what.

Tom and I made a bit more of a fight of things, pushing on to 112 (with a nice half-century for Tom) before he was caught.

Jona supported me well, as I pushed on past my half-century, although she seemed unable to time the ball herself, and eventually fell cheaply – I don’t think she’s fully recovered from last week’s century, and the kids returning to school: 159-3.

Sadly, the next over I too departed: 164-4.

Carol didn’t hang around for long: 168-5.

Frangelita scored a few quick runs before being bowled: 196-6.

Richard had seemed in good form, so I was sad to see his wicket fall, at 208-7.

Medusa and Ivy now made a nice little stand, to push our score a bit closer to 300, before Ivy was out: 244-8

Medusa fell shortly after this: 251-9.

With just Phil and Lisa left at the wicket, it seemed unlikely that many more runs would follow. However, they both played like demons, with Lisa very clearly the dominant partner, taking on every quick single she could make Phil run. Sadly she was out just short of her half-century; Phil’s 24 not out will help his average too. Our final score: 318-10.

Well, that was considerably better than the 94 we’d managed against them last time. Now we just had to get some wickets (you will recall that when we played them before, we were unable to get either of their openers out).

I made the first breakthrough, when Frangelita made an impressive athletic catch, which appeared to involve a double back somersault, a pike and the Heimlich manoeuvre: 28-1.

After that they dug in, as we worked through our usual six bowlers without effect, as the runs piled up. Eventually I returned to our opening pair, taking a wicket myself: 121-2.

Tom finally had an LBW appeal accepted: 150-3.

On returning to our second pair, Vicus had an edge held by Richard: 174-4.

Once again, though, the runs piled up as we tried every one of our six regular bowlers. The batsmen were so secure that I didn’t want to risk an untried bowler, but did use some new combinations; while Carol and I were bowling Vicus held a catch off my slower ball: 268-5.

As they approached 300, I finally felt that I should shoulder the blame for giving them the winning runs, so returned with Vicus – and immediately made two breakthroughs (which would at least earn us a couple of points if we lost): 301-6 and 305-7. Sadly, though, that was as far as we went, as they reached 320-7, and we lost by three wickets.

The league table is over at the club website. You will see there are new league leaders, Marsh Marigolds having lost their match. We have slipped to fifth place, but all is not lost yet, although it is perhaps less likely now that we can actually win the league; promotion is still possible (we are only 24 points behind second place – with 20 for a win, things can soon change).

Saturday 9th September 2006

2006-09-10T07:08:00.000+01:00

When we played Port Lemon CC in the first match of the season, you will recall that they scored 213-10, runs we knocked-off for the loss of only 5 wickets. Since then, Port Lemon have only won two matches, and are currently next to bottom in our division. So having won the toss, I decided that we would bat, having re-arranged our batting line-up slightly, into a more aggressive formation. I encouraged you all to go out and enjoy yourselves – and aim for a total of at least 400.

Tom and Vicus had a good slog, Vicus knocking off his half-century very quickly; however this seemed to make him over-excited, and set off for a run which proved to be suicidal – for his old pal Tom, who was run-out. 81-1

The score had pushed on to over 100, before Vicus edged a ball to the slips: 104-2.

Richard and I scored a quick 40, before he fell LBW: 144-3.

Jona and I enjoyed a stand of nearly 100, which ended when I hit the ball hard to square leg: 236-4.

Another stand of nearly 100 followed, with Jona and Carol knocking the bowling all over the field; shortly after Jona had reached her century, Carol was given LBW: 333-5.

Another twenty runs, and Jona was bowled, having scored a magnificent 132: 354-6.

Medusa didn’t stay around for long, being given out LBW when the score had reached: 368-7.

400 looked a little less likely when Phil fell for just 3 runs: 376-8.

Lisa however supported Frangelita (who had been slowly piling on the runs) before she was bowled: 395-9.

Frangelita and MinCat put on a magnificent last-wicket slog, pushing us on to a super total by the time Min finally fell: 414-10.

Nice tea guys. The fairy cakes that Vicus bought along were much appreciated.

Our opening bowlers struggled for quite a time, before Frangelita held a catch in the slips off my bowling: 55-1.

We moved on to our second pair, who again struggled, until I finally held a catch at gulley, off Vicus’ bowling: 98-2.

We moved on to our third pair, who had some bad luck: Richard dropped a catch from Phil’s bowling, and Lisa dropped one of Jona’s balls. We were really struggling now, with our first and second pairs unable to make any further headway and the score over 200 – but finally Phil’s luck returned, when Medusa took a catch in the slips: 203-3.

Another long wicketless spell followed, before Tom got the batsman to edge the ball to Frangelita in the slips: 316-4.

Although we only had a hundred runs to play with, our fortunes took a positive turn now, as our second pair made the big breakthrough we needed – with his first ball of a new spell, Vicus got an LBW: 318-5

His next over saw him taking another wicket as Tom held a catch: 318-6.

Two overs later and Vicus achieved another LBW: 322-7.

Their spell ended when Carol also got an LBW: 330-8.

I returned to our openers to see off the tail, taking a wicket myself: 342-9.

Tom finished the match with yet another LBW: 342-10.

We won by 72 runs!!

Saturday 2nd September 2006

2006-09-03T07:20:00.001+01:00

Yesterday marked the halfway stage in the league season – we have now played every team in our division. From next week we will face them all again.

So, BMCC v Norwich Puffins – who, fortunately, have some decent covers, as heavy rain in the morning threatened to call the whole match off; we were disturbed by showers during the afternoon. I gather only one other match was completed, as you will see from the league table which is posted below.

I won the toss, and decided we’d bat. Sadly we lost an early wicket, when Richard attempted to drive the ball, but hit it instead straight to square leg: 4-1.

Tom’s was the next wicket to fall, after he and Vicus had pushed the score on to a healthy: 55-2.

Vicus and I scored a few quick runs, before he was bowled: 75-3.

Medusa again edged the ball consistently (I really think we’ll have to club together to get her a new bat) and was eventually caught by the slips: 97-4.

The next few overs saw some quick running by Jona and I, before a careless stroke led to your captain being bowled: 130-5.

Jona moved on to the side’s second highest score, before clipping the ball to gulley: 150-6.

Frangelita was looking very confident at the wicket – perhaps overconfident, as she was bowled: 176-7.

Carol had been playing her usual extravagant (albeit short) innings; she was also bowled: 178-8.

MinCat and Phil pushed our score towards the psychologically crucial 200 mark, before Min was given out LBW: 196-9.

I hurriedly instructed Lisa to block, and allow Phil to take the score as high as he could – she at least followed orders, being not out – Phil was bowled as our score reached: 199-10.

Tea was OK, although there did seem to be a suspiciously large amount of fish. My team talk stressed that tight bowling and fielding would be needed, if we were to get them all out for less than 200.

The first wicket fell when Frangelita took an athletic catch in the slips off my bowling: 23-1.

A couple of overs later, I bowled their number 3: 33-2.

After another few overs we switched to our second pair, Carol getting a wicket with her third ball, edged to Lisa in the slips: 41-3.

Runs were piling up, and I was about to switch the bowling when Vicus was lofted to the boundary, where a surprised Jona held a catch: 107-5.

She was so excited that I decided to let her have a bowl – with me at the other end.

We didn’t achieve anything, so I then tried Tom and Phil – Tom getting a wicket, clean bowled: 107-5.

With runs piling up, I brought back our second pair, Vicus getting an LBW: 139-6.

We had only four more wickets to take, and sixty runs to play with. Our position looked sound, and jolly wisecracks rang around the wicket. Twenty minutes later, having tried various bowling combinations, things suddenly looked bleak – they had reached 183, and we still hadn’t taken another wicket. Giving myself a quick talking-to, I refocused my aim, and took the first hat-trick of my career: Richard taking a catch: 185-7.

LBW: 185-8.

Bowled: 185-9.

The last pair, however, continued to knock off the runs, and things had reached a perilous stage when one of them struck a loose ball from Vicus hard to gulley’s right; an instinctive hand shot out and I held the catch which enabled us to win the match by one run: 198-10.

The league table is, as I mentioned above, printed below. As you will see, we are in fourth place (out of ten teams) – not bad for a fresh side. I really hope, however, that we can do better in the next nine weeks. Promotion is a realistic proposition if we all pull together.

Saturday 2nd September 2006

2006-09-03T07:20:00.000+01:00