
We are a small but elite club, with almost non-existent entry requirements. Currently we play a match each Saturday in the East of England Virtual Cricket League, but obviously we are hoping for bigger things. Some of us are virtually ready to play for England.
Yesterday we played Marsh Marigolds, who were in second place in the league – so a win was important. The ground was quite wet, but playable (others weren’t so lucky – only one other match was played in our division).
I won the toss, and elected to bat. I had decided that Tom needed a rest, so juggled the batting order once again. Most players did OK, and we finished on a satisfactory 323 all out.
Medusa was our star bowler, taking seven wickets (finishing the opposition off by taking two wickets with her last two balls). We bowled them out for 227, so won by 96 runs.
This has moved us up to second place, as the league table shows.
I have also worked out each player’s averages, but will put them up tomorrow.

I won the toss, and decided we’d bowl first, on a damp (but drying) wicket. I used seven bowlers, three of whom (Tom, Medusa and Phil) produced their best bowling figures of the season. My figures would look better if Richard hadn’t dropped two catches. They finished on 374-10.
Interesting tea (Carol, who’s away on birthday holiday, sent us the haggis; Ziggi made the cream cakes; Phil ate the pies).
We had a middle-order batting collapse, and at 149-6 looked to have lost the match. However, a seventh-wicket stand by Medusa and your captain doubled our score, and as Phil then managed to be not out at the end we won by one wicket: 375-9.
Personal bests with the bat by Medusa (79) and me – my first-ever century (136 not out).
In view of her performance with both bat and ball, I made Medusa (honorary) man of the match.
Results by other teams mean that we move up to fourth in the table, and are now only ten points behind the second-placed team.
I won the toss; feeling that we probably stood a chance with the bat, I put us in. I’d revised the order to put our strongest recent line-up at the top, and rather hoped we might match the 400 we scored last week.
Vicus was the first wicket to fall, with the score on just 21. He came off holding his stomach, muttering about something he’d eaten. I can’t imagine what.
Tom and I made a bit more of a fight of things, pushing on to 112 (with a nice half-century for Tom) before he was caught.
Jona supported me well, as I pushed on past my half-century, although she seemed unable to time the ball herself, and eventually fell cheaply – I don’t think she’s fully recovered from last week’s century, and the kids returning to school: 159-3.
Sadly, the next over I too departed: 164-4.
Carol didn’t hang around for long: 168-5.
Frangelita scored a few quick runs before being bowled: 196-6.
Richard had seemed in good form, so I was sad to see his wicket fall, at 208-7.
Medusa and Ivy now made a nice little stand, to push our score a bit closer to 300, before Ivy was out: 244-8
Medusa fell shortly after this: 251-9.
With just Phil and Lisa left at the wicket, it seemed unlikely that many more runs would follow. However, they both played like demons, with Lisa very clearly the dominant partner, taking on every quick single she could make Phil run. Sadly she was out just short of her half-century; Phil’s 24 not out will help his average too. Our final score: 318-10.
Well, that was considerably better than the 94 we’d managed against them last time. Now we just had to get some wickets (you will recall that when we played them before, we were unable to get either of their openers out).
I made the first breakthrough, when Frangelita made an impressive athletic catch, which appeared to involve a double back somersault, a pike and the Heimlich manoeuvre: 28-1.
After that they dug in, as we worked through our usual six bowlers without effect, as the runs piled up. Eventually I returned to our opening pair, taking a wicket myself: 121-2.
Tom finally had an LBW appeal accepted: 150-3.
On returning to our second pair, Vicus had an edge held by Richard: 174-4.
Once again, though, the runs piled up as we tried every one of our six regular bowlers. The batsmen were so secure that I didn’t want to risk an untried bowler, but did use some new combinations; while Carol and I were bowling Vicus held a catch off my slower ball: 268-5.
As they approached 300, I finally felt that I should shoulder the blame for giving them the winning runs, so returned with Vicus – and immediately made two breakthroughs (which would at least earn us a couple of points if we lost): 301-6 and 305-7. Sadly, though, that was as far as we went, as they reached 320-7, and we lost by three wickets.
The league table is over at the club website. You will see there are new league leaders, Marsh Marigolds having lost their match. We have slipped to fifth place, but all is not lost yet, although it is perhaps less likely now that we can actually win the league; promotion is still possible (we are only 24 points behind second place – with 20 for a win, things can soon change).

Tom and Vicus had a good slog, Vicus knocking off his half-century very quickly; however this seemed to make him over-excited, and set off for a run which proved to be suicidal – for his old pal Tom, who was run-out. 81-1
The score had pushed on to over 100, before Vicus edged a ball to the slips: 104-2.
Richard and I scored a quick 40, before he fell LBW: 144-3.
Jona and I enjoyed a stand of nearly 100, which ended when I hit the ball hard to square leg: 236-4.
Another stand of nearly 100 followed, with Jona and Carol knocking the bowling all over the field; shortly after Jona had reached her century, Carol was given LBW: 333-5.
Another twenty runs, and Jona was bowled, having scored a magnificent 132: 354-6.
Medusa didn’t stay around for long, being given out LBW when the score had reached: 368-7.
400 looked a little less likely when Phil fell for just 3 runs: 376-8.
Lisa however supported Frangelita (who had been slowly piling on the runs) before she was bowled: 395-9.
Frangelita and MinCat put on a magnificent last-wicket slog, pushing us on to a super total by the time Min finally fell: 414-10.
Nice tea guys. The fairy cakes that Vicus bought along were much appreciated.
Our opening bowlers struggled for quite a time, before Frangelita held a catch in the slips off my bowling: 55-1.
We moved on to our second pair, who again struggled, until I finally held a catch at gulley, off Vicus’ bowling: 98-2.
We moved on to our third pair, who had some bad luck: Richard dropped a catch from Phil’s bowling, and Lisa dropped one of Jona’s balls. We were really struggling now, with our first and second pairs unable to make any further headway and the score over 200 – but finally Phil’s luck returned, when Medusa took a catch in the slips: 203-3.
Another long wicketless spell followed, before Tom got the batsman to edge the ball to Frangelita in the slips: 316-4.
Although we only had a hundred runs to play with, our fortunes took a positive turn now, as our second pair made the big breakthrough we needed – with his first ball of a new spell, Vicus got an LBW: 318-5
His next over saw him taking another wicket as Tom held a catch: 318-6.
Two overs later and Vicus achieved another LBW: 322-7.
Their spell ended when Carol also got an LBW: 330-8.
I returned to our openers to see off the tail, taking a wicket myself: 342-9.
Tom finished the match with yet another LBW: 342-10.
So, BMCC v Norwich Puffins – who, fortunately, have some decent covers, as heavy rain in the morning threatened to call the whole match off; we were disturbed by showers during the afternoon. I gather only one other match was completed, as you will see from the league table which is posted below.
I won the toss, and decided we’d bat. Sadly we lost an early wicket, when Richard attempted to drive the ball, but hit it instead straight to square leg: 4-1.
Tom’s was the next wicket to fall, after he and Vicus had pushed the score on to a healthy: 55-2.
Vicus and I scored a few quick runs, before he was bowled: 75-3.
Medusa again edged the ball consistently (I really think we’ll have to club together to get her a new bat) and was eventually caught by the slips: 97-4.
The next few overs saw some quick running by Jona and I, before a careless stroke led to your captain being bowled: 130-5.
Jona moved on to the side’s second highest score, before clipping the ball to gulley: 150-6.
Frangelita was looking very confident at the wicket – perhaps overconfident, as she was bowled: 176-7.
Carol had been playing her usual extravagant (albeit short) innings; she was also bowled: 178-8.
MinCat and Phil pushed our score towards the psychologically crucial 200 mark, before Min was given out LBW: 196-9.
I hurriedly instructed Lisa to block, and allow Phil to take the score as high as he could – she at least followed orders, being not out – Phil was bowled as our score reached: 199-10.
Tea was OK, although there did seem to be a suspiciously large amount of fish. My team talk stressed that tight bowling and fielding would be needed, if we were to get them all out for less than 200.
The first wicket fell when Frangelita took an athletic catch in the slips off my bowling: 23-1.
A couple of overs later, I bowled their number 3: 33-2.
After another few overs we switched to our second pair, Carol getting a wicket with her third ball, edged to Lisa in the slips: 41-3.
Runs were piling up, and I was about to switch the bowling when Vicus was lofted to the boundary, where a surprised Jona held a catch: 107-5.
She was so excited that I decided to let her have a bowl – with me at the other end.
We didn’t achieve anything, so I then tried Tom and Phil – Tom getting a wicket, clean bowled: 107-5.
With runs piling up, I brought back our second pair, Vicus getting an LBW: 139-6.
We had only four more wickets to take, and sixty runs to play with. Our position looked sound, and jolly wisecracks rang around the wicket. Twenty minutes later, having tried various bowling combinations, things suddenly looked bleak – they had reached 183, and we still hadn’t taken another wicket. Giving myself a quick talking-to, I refocused my aim, and took the first hat-trick of my career: Richard taking a catch: 185-7.
LBW: 185-8.
Bowled: 185-9.
The last pair, however, continued to knock off the runs, and things had reached a perilous stage when one of them struck a loose ball from Vicus hard to gulley’s right; an instinctive hand shot out and I held the catch which enabled us to win the match by one run: 198-10.
The league table is, as I mentioned above, printed below. As you will see, we are in fourth place (out of ten teams) – not bad for a fresh side. I really hope, however, that we can do better in the next nine weeks. Promotion is a realistic proposition if we all pull together.
So, BMCC v Norwich Puffins – who, fortunately, have some decent covers, as heavy rain in the morning threatened to call the whole match off; we were disturbed by showers during the afternoon. I gather only one other match was completed, as you will see from the league table which is posted below.
I won the toss, and decided we’d bat. Sadly we lost an early wicket, when Richard attempted to drive the ball, but hit it instead straight to square leg: 4-1.
Tom’s was the next wicket to fall, after he and Vicus had pushed the score on to a healthy: 55-2.
Vicus and I scored a few quick runs, before he was bowled: 75-3.
Medusa again edged the ball consistently (I really think we’ll have to club together to get her a new bat) and was eventually caught by the slips: 97-4.
The next few overs saw some quick running by Jona and I, before a careless stroke led to your captain being bowled: 130-5.
Jona moved on to the side’s second highest score, before clipping the ball to gulley: 150-6.
Frangelita was looking very confident at the wicket – perhaps overconfident, as she was bowled: 176-7.
Carol had been playing her usual extravagant (albeit short) innings; she was also bowled: 178-8.
MinCat and Phil pushed our score towards the psychologically crucial 200 mark, before Min was given out LBW: 196-9.
I hurriedly instructed Lisa to block, and allow Phil to take the score as high as he could – she at least followed orders, being not out – Phil was bowled as our score reached: 199-10.
Tea was OK, although there did seem to be a suspiciously large amount of fish. My team talk stressed that tight bowling and fielding would be needed, if we were to get them all out for less than 200.
The first wicket fell when Frangelita took an athletic catch in the slips off my bowling: 23-1.
A couple of overs later, I bowled their number 3: 33-2.
After another few overs we switched to our second pair, Carol getting a wicket with her third ball, edged to Lisa in the slips: 41-3.
Runs were piling up, and I was about to switch the bowling when Vicus was lofted to the boundary, where a surprised Jona held a catch: 107-5.
She was so excited that I decided to let her have a bowl – with me at the other end.
We didn’t achieve anything, so I then tried Tom and Phil – Tom getting a wicket, clean bowled: 107-5.
With runs piling up, I brought back our second pair, Vicus getting an LBW: 139-6.
We had only four more wickets to take, and sixty runs to play with. Our position looked sound, and jolly wisecracks rang around the wicket. Twenty minutes later, having tried various bowling combinations, things suddenly looked bleak – they had reached 183, and we still hadn’t taken another wicket. Giving myself a quick talking-to, I refocused my aim, and took the first hat-trick of my career: Richard taking a catch: 185-7.
LBW: 185-8.
Bowled: 185-9.
The last pair, however, continued to knock off the runs, and things had reached a perilous stage when one of them struck a loose ball from Vicus hard to gulley’s right; an instinctive hand shot out and I held the catch which enabled us to win the match by one run: 198-10.
The league table is, as I mentioned above, printed below. As you will see, we are in fourth place (out of ten teams) – not bad for a fresh side. I really hope, however, that we can do better in the next nine weeks. Promotion is a realistic proposition if we all pull together.

And here are updated batting averages. I think I said last week that I’ve found my natural place at number 4 (a position I’ve never occupied in real life – I’ve either opened, or come in much lower in the order – an interesting ‘what if..’ there, given the way the computer seems to portray real-life characteristics quit unerringly). The figures seem to bear this out. You can boast about your own results on your blogs.
As far as the bowling figures go, every bowler took a hammering last Saturday, but again many of us still have quite respectable results.
Far be it for me to point out who tops both tables.
Pride, after all, comes before a fall.
We lost the toss, Touch and Go CC deciding to bat. To be fair, our wicket hasn’t had much attention the last few weeks (the mower was drowned in The Great Flood, and the heavy roller’s a bit rusty too), and our bowlers found it hard to find the right line and length.
Our openers (Tom and I) couldn’t make any impression at all, and the score was already over fifty before our second pair (Vicus and Carol) finally made a breakthrough, following some quick reactions with the gloves by Richard to a slower ball from Vicus: 52-1.
Our third pair (Phil and Jona) couldn’t get a wicket, and with the score ominously over 100 I brought the openers back, making a breakthrough myself when Carol held a diving catch: 109-2.
Runs continued to flow freely before a batsman lofted the ball to a dozing Jona, who awoke just in time to hold onto it: 151-3.
Our second pair achieved nothing; we moved to the third string, Richard holding another excellent catch off Jona’s (extremely) slow bowling: 196-4.
To try something different I gave Ivy a few overs – whilst reasonably economical, she never threatened to take a wicket. However, Frangelita held a surprise catch off Phil’s bowling: 231-5.
Over 100 runs now came off the bat, whilst your increasingly desperate captain tried several different bowling combinations (and rejected Carol’s suggestion that she be allowed to tamper with the ball).
Finally Tom bowled his man: 382-6.
I bowled another batsman: 417-7.
Vicus got an LBW: 447-8.
I held a catch in gulley off Jona’s bowling: 459-9.
Carol took the last wicket, clean bowled; 464-10.
Tea, whilst it looked excellent (well done everyone, especially our new recruit to the kitchen) tasted like ashes in my mouth. I held a long and serious team-talk in the dressing room before we took to the field again. Clearly we had a mountain to climb, so I stressed we should not think about it, but instead concentrate on the fact that every 46½ runs earn us one point (should we lose). Stick in, no flashy shots, let’s just knock off the runs in blocks of 47.
That’s what I asked for.
Tom and Vicus nearly achieved it, the first wicket falling at 39, as Tom was comprehensively bowled.
Medusa was the first of several players to find that her bat seemed to comprise two edges and no middle, being caught in the slips: 57-2.
Vicus fell the same way, when we had nearly achieved our second batting point: 86-3.
Richard and I made a short stand, before he edged to the keeper: 106-4.
Jona achieved a golden duck, edging the next ball to the slips: 106-5.
Ivy and I then put on a 72 run stand for the sixth wicket, before she was given out LBW: 178-6.
A few balls later Frangelita was bowled: 180-7.
Sensing that I was running out of partners, I tried to push on for another couple of points, but was bowled when the score reached: 217-8.
This brought that pair of old troopers, Phil and Carol, together. Phil’s hours in the nets now showed, as this dashing pair put on a quick thirty, before Carol was caught trying to hit the ball over the fielders: 248-9.
I felt sure that Phil and Lisa would push the score beyond 300, but sadly Lisa’s duck ended the match at: 254-10.
Oh well, we earned five batting points. I’m sure you did your best (three of you, at least, did, scoring personal bests in this match).
Let’s hope the teams below us didn’t win, shall we?
I’ll post the league table here tomorrow, together with the updated averages for every player, as we’ve finished another month’s cricket.
So, with two more matches to play until the half-way stage in the season, we are currently sitting (just) in third place. The top two teams in the league are promoted to the next division, so we’ll have to try a little harder (but not, of course, going so far as to tamper with the ball) if we are to move up.
Next Saturday we are at home to Touch and Go CC, who you will note are just above us, and so a decisive win may be all we need to move up – on the other hand a bad loss, and any one of five teams could overtake us.
Sadly, I lost the toss, with the opposition electing to bat.
This seemed no bad thing, as in my first over Ivy held a catch: 0-1.
A few overs later, I took the second wicket too: 21-2
After this, I switched to our second pair, Vicus and MinCat.
They couldn’t make a breakthrough, and with Vicus being knocked around, I turned to that pair of old stalwarts, Phil and Carol. My confidence was justified as Phil bowled his man with his first ball: 56-3.
As the score moved on steadily, eventually I returned to our opening bowlers. Tom was disappointed to see Frangelita drop a catch, but the next over I forced an edge to Lisa in the slips: 117-4.
After a few more overs we returned to our second pair, who caused a middle-order collapse:
MinCat having a man caught by Tom at silly mid-off: 155-5.
In the next over, Vicus took two wickets, an LBW and a bowled: 156-6 and 158-7.
Our third pair had no success, Lisa dropping an edged ball from Phil’s bowling.
I got an LBW: 184-8.
Vicus took the final two wickets in two balls, both edged behind and caught cleanly by Frangelita: 206-9 and 206-10.
Tea was OK. Oh, and Carol and Ivy, we spotted you sneaking off to the chippy.
Our opening batsmen started well, before Tom was caught and bowled: 32-1.
Vicus had been playing a cavalier innings, but finally his extravagant style led to an edge to the keeper: 85-2.
Medusa had played nicely for her 25, but was bowled in the next over: 85-3.
MinCat was unable to match her friend from the sub-continent, being out for a duck: 90-4.
This brought Jona and I together, and we pushed the score on nicely, Jona reaching her half-century with a beautiful cover drive. She was finally out, caught in the slips: 187-5.
Ivy scored a quick six, and put us within sight of the winning-post: 197-6
Frangelita and I brought us home, as we reached: 207-6.
We won by four wickets.