Saturday 16th June 2007.

I have to say, I’m a bit cheesed off. I don’t think the team played to its full potential, and some of you were, frankly, just messing around. To be fair, I hadn’t picked the strongest team (on paper at least) this time, as I wanted to give the three players I dropped last week a chance. Even so, I think many minds were on the end-of-season party, rather than the match.

I will think long and hard about this, before deciding how many of you I allow to join our world tour, which starts in July. I point no fingers, but I am sure some sore heads this morning will tell their own story.

This was the last match of the league season, and we really needed to win it. That became apparent when, in a series of ’phone calls before play started, I discovered that every other game in our division had been abandoned, before a ball was bowled, because the pitches were waterlogged. This means that each team received 15 points, putting the current leaders, Touch and Go on 274. If we won this match, the 20 points we receive would put us on 275 points – and so we would win the title by one point.

Fortunately, the care and attention paid by our groundpserson had paid off, and our wicket was eminently playable, in between the showers.

I lost the toss, and we were put in to bat. You may recall my request for maximum effort, and my hope that we would score over 300 runs, to daunt the opposition. I also decided to put my money where my mouth was, lead from the front and open the batting myself, with Jona. We started off briskly enough, but sadly Jona was given out LBW when the score was only 21-1.

Richard and I got stuck in, and put us back on track, with a half-century for me, and our score moving beyond the hundred mark, before Richard too fell LBW: 101-2.

Sadly, only a few balls later I was caught behind: 104-3.

Our vice-captain took over the scoring, knocking-off a quick twenty, before she was bowled: 139-4.

Realdoc had been pestering me for the last fortnight with stories of her batting prowess, so I moved her up the order to no. 6. She rather let herself down, being caught in the slips soon after going in: 143-5.

Lisa stayed in slightly longer, before lobbing a gentle catch to silly mid on: 155-6.

Steg, who had been slowly building an innings, now made a rash swing, mistimed and was caught and bowled: 180-7.

Carol was caught behind: 192-8.

This left our fast bowlers, who have previously both opened, and from whom I expected a steady and responsible innings. Tom repaid my confidence by going at the bowling like a bull at a china shop, and duly sliced the ball to the slips: 192-9.

We were depending on Ivy and Vicus to at least push the score over 200, but sadly even that hope was dashed when Ivy was given out LBW: 196-10.

Tea seemed quite a lively affair, even though it tasted like ashes in my mouth. I suspect some of you had got at the punch which Ziggi brought.

Tom and I opened the attack, with our mixture of pace and guile; it wasn’t until his fourth over that Tom made the first breakthrough, a nick being held by Richard: 13-1.

Tom’s next ball took the middle stump out of the ground: 13-2.

In his 8^th over (just before the change to our second pair) Tom got a third wicket, again clean bowled: 31-3.

Vicus and Realdoc did nothing in their spell, so we turned to Steg and Ivy. Steg succeeded in getting an edge to carry to the slips, where a very surprised Lisa held onto the catch: 84-4.

With the score moving well beyond 100, I returned to our openers, Tom achieving another edge to the slips, held this time by Realdoc: 127-5.

Tom got his five-fer (his best-ever bowling performance, incidentally) with another nick, held by Richard: 149-6.

Our second pair achieved a wicket at last, when Realdoc’s spin ball finally moved enough to dislodge the bails; 173-7.

They needed 24 runs to win, we needed to get three more wickets.

In a last desperate attempt to get those wickets, I asked Tom and Steg, our most aggressive pair, to have a go. Finally, with the scores tied (and the league title thus lost to us) Steg bowled his man: 196-8.

The next ball went for 4, and the match was lost.

Match details, and the final league table, are shown below. As you will see, we finished a creditable third.

Creditable, that is, if you don’t think winning is important.

Thanks for those who organised the party, band, barbeque etc after the match. Sorry if I sat in the corner for most of the evening, looking a bit pensive.

Saturday 9th June 2007

Well, for a change I won the toss. You will remember that the last time we played this team, they scored over 400 runs, which rather demoralised us, so I decided that we would bat first.

This was a crucial match, so I had spent some time with the average charts, and picked what on paper was our strongest team. Richard and Jona opened the batting, but never looked comfortable on a wicket which was allowing the ball to seam wildly, Richard, ironically, was caught by the keeper from one of the few straighter balls: 22-1.

Jona went soon after, also caught by the keeper: 26-2.

The ball kept moving around, and inevitably MinCat edged it to the slips: 29-3.

Steg and I managed a short revival, before he was given out LBW: 71-4.

Our Vice-Captain came in to join her Captain, edged her first ball to the slips, and returned to the pavilion: 71-5.

Medusa lasted a few overs before edging to the keeper: 77-6.

Phil and I pushed our score on over the 100 mark, before he was bowled: 118-7

Realdoc came in, determined to show that her long hours in the nets have been worthwhile. Unfortunately, she lasted only short seconds at the crease, being bowled first ball: 118-8.

Tom and I made a brief but productive stand, before he edged a catch to slips: 144-9.

Only Vicus and I were left to push the score up to something respectable. Vicus did his best, before he too edged a catch – to the keeper this time: 171-10.

Not a good score. There were some glum faces over tea.

I warned players that I would be rotating the bowling regularly, particularly if any bowler became expensive. Tom assured me that he was raring to go after his rest last week, so I allowed him to open – and with his first ball a catch flew hard and fast to me in Gulley: 0-1.

In his third over, Tom clean bowled the next man in: 4-2.

In the next over, I took a caught and bowled: 9-3.

Two balls later, I clean bowled my man: 10-4.

It really looked as if we were going to walk this match.

Sadly, the opposition had been saving their two best batsmen. We just could not dislodge them. I tried eight bowlers, but none of us could break through. Finally, after both batsmen had got half-centuries, Medusa bowled one of them: 136-5.

Heads were down, not helped by Richard dropping a catch off my bowling.

Fortunately Frangelita made an amazing dive to catch a low chance off my next over: 152-6.

We could not dislodge the next men in, sadly, and they raced past our score, finishing on 174-6.

The 20 points they get for the win take them back on top of the league. The six points we got for their six wickets just keep us in second place. As you can see from the league table, any one of five teams can win the league, after the final match next week.

Saturday 2nd June 2007

I’m afraid I lost the toss again, and Imodium Wanderers captain elected to bat. One could see immediately why they are third in the league – they have a very strong-looking side. It was very hot in the field, so I decided to use the same tactic as last week – each bowler only having four-over spells.

I had decided earlier in the week that Tom needed a rest, to sharpen up his action, so our opening pair were Vicus and Steg; second up were our slower bowlers, Realdoc and me; our third pair were Medusa and Phil.

Our openers started sharply enough, and we were encouraged when Vicus bowled a man when the score was only: 11-1.

After that, though, we really struggled, with none of our bowlers managing to achieve a breakthrough. We were well into our second spell of bowling, and had seen the total fly over 100, before I managed to make the player sweep the ball straight into the hands of Frangelita at Square Leg: 106-2.

The next man in, unfortunately, was equally strong, and the score moved on apace; I seriously felt that we would be facing a target of something like 400. Fortunately in his third spell Vicus managed to top-edge the batsman to Gulley, where I held on to the ball: 169-3.

On the next change of bowlers I managed to get an edge to MinCat in the slips: 177-4

When Medusa came on to bowl, she managed to get a catch to Frangelita at square leg: 215-5.

Steg clean bowled his man: 228-6.

Realdoc achieved an LBW: 252-7.

In the next over I bowled my man: 253-8

Frangelita held another catch at Square leg, off Realdoc’s bowling: 261-9.

Realdoc finished off the innings (again) as Frangelita took her fourth catch: 263-10.

Tea was impressive. What more can I say? Unfortunately our score-board monitor had eaten most of the fudge cake before the players got there, but otherwise, a lovely meal.

Vicus whispered to me that his old waterworks problem was playing him up again. I promised to be discrete about it, but it seemed unlikely that he would be able to bat.

With Vicus dropped to no. 11, and Tom not playing, we needed a new opening pair. Richard and Jona admirably filled the gap. Richard set off aggressively, but unfortunately was LBW when the score had reached just 29-1.

I was clean bowled before I had time to get my eye in: 35-2.

This was not the start we needed if we were to get anywhere near their score. Fortunately our batting line-up runs quite deep, and it needed to, after MinCat was out LBW when the score had reached: 73-3.

Jona, after an impressive start, was out caught, scooping the ball up to Square Leg: 80-4.

A brilliant stand of 99 brought some cheer into our drooping hearts, only ending when Steg was caught behind, trying to loft a ball for 6, to get his 50: 179-5.

Medusa laid into the bowling, scoring fours off three successive balls as she cruised past her half-century; sadly her attempt at a fourth saw her clean bowled: 191-6,

Ivy edged a catch to the keeper: 228-7.

35 runs needed, but with Vicus unable to bat we only had two more wickets left.

Our Vice-captain and Phil made a spirited attempt to win the match, ending when Frangelita was bowled: 260-8.

4 runs required. Our last pair, Phil and Realdoc at the crease.

3 runs made, leaving Phil puffing and panting. Realdoc then demonstrates that the time she has spent in the nets has not been wasted, striking the shot of the day – a brilliant cover drive for 4. WE WIN!!!

And as the league table shows, Touch and Go lost their match, and so we move up to head the league, with just two matches to play.